'Why I've decided I never want to be a bridesmaid or maid of honour again'
By Eliza Paschke|
I never want to be a bridesmaid or maid of honour again.
It's a privilege to have played those roles in the past, but I'm not sure I have any more bridal party duties left in me.
My days MCing for friends as a favour are done too I think. The prep required is equivalent to a part-time job, and although I've had a hoot hosting so many magical nights, I'd love the opportunity to celebrate properly as a guest, rather than always be in work mode.
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The time and money I've invested in other people's nuptials over the years is quite staggering. In fact, the coin I've spent would be enough to fund my own wedding at this point.
My mates have been groomsmen and bridesmaids a varying amount, with five times being the max. Double that, and you've hit the number of times I've accepted a bridal party or MC role for a loved one.
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I've forked out between $1500 and $5000 for each of those weddings. Do the maths on that one!
"How on earth do you even say no to someone who's been kind enough to include you in something so special to them?"
When you take into consideration the hens event planning, dresses, shoes, jewellery, professional hair and makeup expenses, travel from interstate or overseas (plus any relevant accommodation), time off work, gifts, it's a financial minefield.
Yes, the bride or groom will alleviate some of these costs depending on their demands, budgets and humility, but there's no guarantees.
The other day I overheard a girl describe her maid of honour duties as a burden. It's a horrible way to feel about an important job your bestie has bestowed upon you, but I tend to agree with that sentiment. Perhaps I'd feel less cynical if I'd been involved in fewer ceremonies.
How on earth do you even say no to someone who's been kind enough to include you in something so special to them?
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Maybe the key is suggesting they find someone more able to manage the time commitment.
It's such a tricky situation to navigate, and if mishandled could be friendship ending. Whatever way you spin it, it does sound incredibly selfish.
"Maybe I should just marry myself like Carrie Bradshaw did in Sex and the City"
A new report shows the number of Aussies tying the knot has dropped six per cent over the last 20 years (according to the Household, Income & Labour Dynamics In Australia Survey).
So maybe people are leaning more towards de facto relationships, in which case I may not even need to have any awkward conversations.
Of course, everyone I've supported would return the favour if my big day comes. But that moment may never arrive, so I need to decide if I'm prepared to keep investing so heavily in other people's love lives (to my own detriment).
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Maybe I should just marry myself like Carrie Bradshaw did in Sex and the City, and register at Manolo Blahnik to guarantee some kind of reimbursement.
"Always the bridesmaid, never the bride" is a saying that definitely applies to me.
I truly do enjoy the festivities of a new marriage, and while I wouldn't change a thing about my life, being 38 and eternally single does make these occasions hard sometimes.
It's not just about the time and money, there's an emotional element too. There's nothing lonelier than standing front and centre at a wedding when you're always solo.
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My apologies to unmarried loved ones reading this right now…. I hope you understand this need to hang up my microphone and bridesmaid dresses for the sake of my sanity!
Eliza also has a weekly podcast called Try Before You Die. Listen here (or wherever you get your podcasts).
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