A place for anyone who has lost a companion to share and heal. Please see below for helpful posts, related subreddits and community guidelines.
I haven't shared my story here yet, and id like to soon. I just wanted to recommend a wonderful film for now, maybe it will help someone too. It is called "La Chimera". I have never been so moved by an ending of a movie. It's an Italian film, never was really my thing. She loved foreign stuff, so of course now I am into that I guess, like the other hundred habits of hers I have picked up and replaced mine with.
I have been struggling to do anything besides reading her journals and talking to strangers for 45 days now. It was so nice to finally have the patience and energy, to relax for a couple hours, and not escape but face something genuine, relevant, and novel. When I was overwhelmed with grief in the past, I would run away from it, and distract my self with shallow entertainment, while the fortifications were built up inside of me. I never had to properly process all the people I have lost, until I lost her. Someone told me maybe I wasn't wounded enough until now to heal, and I imagine many of us here can relate.
Wishing you all the strength you need to get through another day without them. It will seem like one day further away from them, but you're also one day closer to being with them again too as long as you can remember to hold them inside of you, don't turn away - it is the hardest thing you will ever do, and it will be worth it.
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I spent my first year after my love died crawling into my bedroom and rarely coming out. My friends helped me back into the world, though it is still hard sometimes. I keep busy as I can with community and trying to be useful. Music helps a great deal.
I found comfort in the movie "Our Souls at Night", starring Jane Fonda and Robert Redford. Widow and widower connecting story without the Hallmark saccharin sweetness.
My Beloved left me with a greater capacity for love than when I met her. She told me to never stop living or loving, and convinced me I had value. I've tried to live up to the way she saw me every day.
I do wish I could stay in bed some days. I always slept too much before, but now I get up early like she did. I know if my momentum slips I am going to lose everything and be homeless. I do resent not being able to take more time but it's nothing compared to the self resentment of not loving her the way I do now while she was still here.
That's really wonderful your friends kept it up, a lot of people seem to fatigue after a short time. I hope you can hold onto them forever, and can return the kindness back someday if they need it.
Music at first for me was all too painful. Im so thankful to have it back now. I just had to stop caring about what other people think, I can cry if I want to lol.
What kind of community stuff have you found to do? I wouldn't even know where to start. I keep looking at flyers and stuff on bulletin boards now but nothing spoke to me
Thank you for the movie recommendation, I'm going to try and hunt that down and watch it this weekend