Hi! I hope someone can give me some advice on this. I made this account just to post my feelings lol.
I (23f) was talking to this guy (28m) sometime around March, we met on a dating app, and we spoke for about 2 weeks. He asked me out at some point in those 2 weeks and we went on a date. During the first week I am going to be honest, I was a little hesitant about him. I don’t know why, but I guess he was just not my usual “type”. I’m trying to get away from the idea of having a type which is why I continued to talk to him, and after a while I was starting to like him. After our date, I ended up liking him more than I expected. We both were on the same page about wanted to be in a relationship. The next day after our date, he sends me a text about how he thinks we are too different and then basically ends up cutting me off, and blocks me lol. It hurt a lot, I was living away from home at the time and I was alone in my apartment with my thoughts, it wasn’t great. I felt like I didn’t even get to say anything before he ghosted me, and I know he probably didn’t care about my feelings enough to but it still hurt. It also hurt because when he was driving me back home after our date, he brought up when we will see each other next and we were planning on hanging out the following weekend. Of course I understand he has every right not to show the same feelings as I did, and feelings change overnight.
I honestly think I didn’t take it well, emotionally I am all over the place. It has been months and I am still not over him, I cry about it sometimes lol. Mostly because of the fact that I miss talking to him, and I wish he did give it a chance (that might just be me being selfish saying that) I am trying my best to keep myself busy so I don’t have time to think about him, but there’s only so much I can do. If I’m in the car or on a bus or even at the gym, he just comes to mind. I have talked to other guys after all this, but I just can’t get myself to be interested enough in them to continue speaking to them after a few texts. I just don’t have the mental or emotional capacity anymore, so I have been on a break in my dating life.
He was exactly the guy I wanted to be in a relationship with. I know I didn’t know him well, but I believe that being genuinely interested also means taking the risk to pursue someone intentionally, and I haven’t felt that way for any guy in years.
I did speak to him a month after he cut me off, and his reasoning was that he just didn’t see himself marrying me and I wasn’t his type, he was attracted to me physically but other aspects he wasn’t and he wouldn't really elaborate. He also said that it was better to just say his peace and leave before we hung out the second time and feelings were even more complicated, understandable. But even after that I still think about him. I am a pretty confident and secure person, I really don’t know how I am allowing myself to be this hung up on a guy I barely know. I am trying my best I really am, I do everything I can to make the most out of my days, but again, there's only so much. Like I will just start tearing up if I think about him for more than 5 mins lol.
This is the very short version of what happened. I don’t know, maybe someone can relate, even a little, I am very curious to hear stories or perspectives. Thank you all.
TLDR: I met this guy I really liked, he didn’t reciprocate those feelings and I am having a hard time getting over that.
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You said he wasn't really your type.. just go straight for your type. That's what he did. He wants exactly what he wants and doesn't talk himself into something he doesn't want.. you didn't want him to begin with! but i get it, being rejected sucks.
I had a guy lead me on for months.. he was my ideal from the second we met. he was being romantic and made plans, then ghost. compared to that, what that guy did to you was "nice". he knew from the first date he wasn't interested and didn't play you for months just to sleep with you! that's a good thing.
I think you're lonely.. like you said. you miss talking to him. maybe you just need someone to feel close to, wether it's romantic or not. Maybe even someone online you could find on here to text and feel less lonely would be helpful, i think.
Thank you for sharing! I'm so sorry you had to go through that, going through that for months is the worst. With the guy I talked to, he was not my usual "type" but when we started talking, I realized he was more of my type than I expected. I guess i judged too soon, but yes I agree. I think the lonliness is getting to me, esp because im an only child lol. Thank you for your perspective, I hope to maybe slowly start talking to people again.