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Our healthcare system sucks

ayyyamandaa

Need to vent. I had a loss back in October 2023. I’m on my second pregnancy and this one will mostly end in a loss as well since my gestational sac has not grown in 3 weeks and there’s no sign of a baby or heartbeat… my issue is… why do I finally qualify for fertility now that I have 2 losses? Why can’t you get proper care or surveillance before suffering reoccurring losses??? I’m just absolutely devastated and feel like I’ve been chewed up and spit back out by our healthcare system.

9 Similar Discussions Found

Crunchymama38

I feel your frustration. My doctor won’t even test for anything until 3 losses. I’ve already had 2 and am dreading having to go through another one before they investigate. I also think OB offices need a separate waiting room for pregnant women vs miscarrying women. It’s so hard to go to multiple ultrasounds and dr visits knowing your baby isn’t going to make it and having to sit there with excited pregnant women and their partners. It just adds to the emotional trauma!

ayyyamandaa

@Crunchymama38,

I couldn’t agree more. It’s so unfair and *** feeling

Lady-Al

couldn’t agree more. There’s such a lack of investment in female health care especially. My heart goes out to you in this terrible situation ❤️‍��

ayyyamandaa

@Lady-Al,

it makes me so angry. I feel like in men we’re the ones having babies, we would have a lot more options and resources and just more studies done with more information.

Lily2569

in my experience, statistics and algortythms dictate a lot. After one mc, a lot of doctors wont pursue testing and insurance may not cover it because many people have one mc and then go on to have a healthy pregnancy. They figure the odds are, things are fine and the main goal of any business is to reduce unnecessary spending.

That ends up meaning that some people, who are the statistical minotirty, will probably get the s*** end of the stick. It happens not just in womens healthcare but people get procedures and testing for things refused regularly on the basis that the algorythm deems it “not medically necessary”.

You and I are both part of the statistics and it does make it harder. Ive spent so many hours and hours of my life on the phone with insurance companies, medical billing, etc.. and shopping around for doctors and advocating for myself.

what do you mean by qualifying for fertility now and what surveillance would you have wanted?

Show 3 Previous Comments

ayyyamandaa

@Lily2569,

I’m located in south jersey. I did opt for the chromosomal testing to me done when I got my d&e today. Just going to get more answers. The new doctor I’m seeing seems more invested in helping me and conducting additional testing to find out why I’m having reoccurring losses.

mamabearOC

@Lily2569,

agree with all. I happen to be one of those IVF patients getting constant monitoring of hcg, E2 and P4. Supplementation of either/both to maintain optimal levels. Scans to make sure the lining is clear of fibroids and perfect thickness before embryo transfer. Early OB scans once positive and a messaging portal where I can ask questions anytime without feeling like I’m being anxious (because that’s what an IVF clinic expects of most their patients). And none of that changed the miscarriage outcome, in my case.

ETA: in the case of my blighted ovum (also an IVF transfer) in 2017, the embryo was even chromosome tested prior to transfer and happened to be the #1 ranked embryo of a 15 embryo batch. Sometimes, there are just no answers.

Lily2569

@ayyyamandaa,

“All of your friends in fertility” - does this mean fertility clinics? There is a lot more monitoring with fertility clinics compared to standard obgyn offices.

Have you tried calling a fertility clinic for a consult? If you do iui or ivf, then yes, there is a lot of additional monitoring.

Where are you located?

Many people who do early scans (who arent undergoing fertility treatment) are doing the self pay private locations - it can be like $70 a scan but that can be an option if the doctors wont schedule you.

When you have a next positive home test/pregnancy, you can try to push your doctor to order hcg and progesteorne bloodwork to check it. Labcorp also offers self order/pay for hcg and progesterone. If you have normal progesterone levels then the suppositories wont change an outcome. With a missed miscarriage, low progesterone probably wasnt an issue because your body still retained the pregnancy and didnt start bleeding too early.

With your DC procedure coming up, you can ask for chromosome testing to be done to see if that could have been the cause of the mc. If that does end up being the case then unfortunately more scans or more progesteorne would not have been able to change the outcome. Even if that testing does come back normal, more scans would have meant you just found out sooner. There isnt much doctors can do for early/mmc. And you didnt have early bleeding so it wasnt likely progesterone issue (maybe, but probably not).

Ive had recurrent loss and with my most recent pregnancy, I chose not to get a scan or have any appts until week 9. I knew there isnt much that can be done one way or the other and my body let me know when it was pregnant and by week 8, my symptoms were fading and I knew things werent going well. After prior losses, I have had a bunch of tests to rule things out, other pregnancies I did the early hcg tests and early scans - and this time I opted to just listen to my body because I know hcg tests and scans arent going to change things for my situation. It might mean I know earlier - but it doesnt change the outcome.

With my first pregnancy, I had earlier scans - saw the hb at 7w, heard it on the doppler at 9w.. 10w appt, my little angels heart had stopped beating. The chromosome test came back normal. Having the earlier scan didnt change the outcome. Even if they could tell something was wrong, they cant go in and fix it.

I wish that all could somehow change things... but early monitoring u/s scans wont be able to save the baby.

ayyyamandaa

@Lily2569,

all of my friends who are in fertility are monitored so closed, getting constantly testing, early pregnancy screenings, preventive medication like progesterone suppositories to keep the pregnancy going. I literally got told, “you’re fine” and now I’m having a d&e today which will be my second loss. It’s just a shame these businesses care more about the bottom line than peoples lives. When hospitals originally opened, I doubt the intention was to have multiple billion dollar corporations. But the greed by both the medical offices and the insurance companies makes me sick.

RedbullBreakfast

I wholeheartedly agree. I feel they super dropped the ball on this one for me. I urged my doctor about my spotting and she said it was no big deal just wait for the ultrasound. At the 8 week ultrasound, the woman tells me stop worrying the baby is healthy and has a heartbeat. That same night I get cramps and the bleeding turns red. I rush to the hospital and they tell me to relax, my cervix is closed. 2 ultrasounds later they tell me they can’t find the baby and it’s gone. I then, after all the probing, finally bleed out an alarming amount of blood and I realized it’s all true. I’m losing the baby. The lack of care and their concern was wild to me. No testing of my levels from the start of my concerns and pleas, no nothing. Just shrugged me off and seemed annoyed by my pleas until it was all too late and all I got was a “sorry”. I wish I went somewhere else.

ayyyamandaa

@RedbullBreakfast,

omg I am so so sorry for your loss. I’ve had multiple horrible experiences with a variety of different offices. You really need to test out so many doctors and advocate for yourself almost to the point of being aggressive/bitchy bc they really don’t listen. I finally found a doctor who listened to me and validated me. She’s doing my D&C today ��

RedbullBreakfast

@ayyyamandaa,

I’m so sorry… I was thinking about the D&C but ended up saying no since I was already passing most of it. I’m thinking of reconsidering. Thank you for your kind words, I see a new doctor tomorrow and I’m hoping she’s compassionate and kind. I really want some answers.

mlundgren994

I feel you, and as much as I want to deny it, it's a fact. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope this one will hold. Fingers cross for you.

mrsschnur

I feel you… so much. They told me I had to have three.. I did.. they ordered a basic panel, said I was fine and then I lost two more

I finally had to go out of state to find people who cared and showed compassion for my situation. It’s absolute trash. The lack of compassion was what really sealed it for me when I had an OB tell me the second one didn’t count because it was a chemical. Even after I was finally able to conceive my miracle child and give birth, they still didn’t believe me when I said I needed medicine and went on to have another miscarriage. They recommended IVF over giving me the medication recommended by my fertility doctors.. just ick. Thankfully the fertility office offered to manage my medication so next pregnancy I have it on hand. It’s just crazy how broken the system is.

I’m so sorry, it sucks

ayyyamandaa

@mrsschnur,

it’s a sin and they should be so ashamed of themselves. I’m so sorry you had to endure that �� what medication did your fertility doctors recommend?

mrsschnur

@ayyyamandaa,

after a lot of blood tests, he believed my MTHFR was the root of my recurrent loss and recommended lovenox, low dose aspirin, and methylfolate as well as a vitamin. That cocktail led to the birth of my daughter in Feb 2023.

I’m currently going through my 7th loss, but it was ectopic so the medication protocol wouldn’t have changed anything

It all sucks.. while I understand there is very very little that can be done in early miscarriage, the lack of compassion is really what ticks me off

lyss-m

I’m sorry for your loses. My 8 week appointment was with a midwife when I found out I had a MMC. She said 2 loses (I had one a few years ago) is 2 loses too many and we did genetic testing and a full blood panel. Everything checks out totally fine, but at least now I know that my loses were abnormalities and not something my husband or I did “wrong” or something we carry. Perhaps go that route over an OB! I did have an OB deliver my now 3 year old but prefer midwives for all other care.