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Hazbin Hotel- E1 S1: Overture (Gender swap)

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting) Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key) Vagner: Charles? Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that? Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there. Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps. Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay? Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff. Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet? (Charles shakes his head saying no) Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now? Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about. Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone. Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work. Vagner: It will. I have faith in you. (The cat hopes on Charles) Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us. (Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes) (A commercial plays) Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here. (The tv suits off) Alice: So, what'd ya' think? Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?! Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...ummm... Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad". Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious! Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point. Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them. Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it. Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time! (A demon on a sofa raises her hand) Vagner: What? Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here? Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star. Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in. Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial. Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy talk-creepy voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel. Alice: Haha! Never going to happen! Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way! Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes... (Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling) Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man... Charle: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away) Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby. (Charles breathes and answers the phone) Charles: Hello? Mom? Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here? Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can! Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here? (The camera goes to Hisky) Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me? Niffter: I like being forced! Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff. Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers? Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat. Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty. Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to. Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it? Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder) Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive. Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I acn totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!!Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit! Vagner: Ahh! What?! Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here! (Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is) Vagner: What's going on? Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply) Vagner: But... But-- But tbe extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after... Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan! Vagner: Charles, hold on. Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change! Vagner: It's just a meeting. Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have. Vagner: This could be bad. Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell! Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them. Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street. Vagner: Is he... Angela: Oh, he's dancin'. Vagner: Ugh, no. Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss! Demon: Go fuck yourself! Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul! Charles: Hello! Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes! Charles: Uh, excuse me... Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role! Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well! Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell! Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change! Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change! Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange! Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged! Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this... Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire... Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burnig my soul! Chorus: Ah! Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it! Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole! Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds! Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts! Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny! Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker! Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Charles: Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper) (Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room) Charles: Hello? Is anyone here? (The lights turn on) Eve: 'Sup? Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you. Eve: Yeah, I know. Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand) Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand) (Charles hand passes through Eve's hand) Charles: Ahh! Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that? (Luther shaves his head in yes) Eve: Good shit! Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here? Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew. Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth) Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it. My husband's receipe. Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs) Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha! (Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby) Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice? (Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: a video camera. Alice: Hmm? (Snaps her fingers) (A video camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: All right, let's do this! (Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar) Vagner: And...Action! Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?" Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!" Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..." Angela: "Oh yes!" Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!" Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face? Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit! Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh! Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle) Vagner: Hisky, come on! (Meanwhile, Charles is bored) Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend? Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much. Eve: I know. I fucking rock. Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am. Eve: Call me Pussymaster. Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl. Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh. Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger, a revolutionary, a...A genius! Eve: I maen, yout words, babe. Charles: Who would really her name on something. Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best! Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem! Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch. Charles: No! Our other biggest problem. Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm... (At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it) Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab. Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay? Niffter: Got it. I'm ready. Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action! (Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused) Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera) (Niffter smiles again) Niffter: (Giggles) How was that? Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again. Niffter: Okay! Vagner: Action. (Niffter stares deeply at the camera) Angela: You're doing great, Vaginer! Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post. Angela: Do you even know what that means? Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out! (In lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv) Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. (Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side) Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm? Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here? Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job! Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alastor, the egocentric piece pf shit that... (Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down) Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio. Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shitass?! (Turns around and walks away) Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you. Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice. Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it) Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers) (Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes) Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial. (Meanwhile) Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"! Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell! Eve: (Normal) Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year? Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am. Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Lute) Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right? Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven. Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation. Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes. Luther: Angels don't make mistakes. Charles: You really think that? Luther: I know that. Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life. Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter. (Charles shrinks back) Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it... Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in... Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time! Charles: (Normal) Okay? Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates! Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! Charles: Okay, but... Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath! Charles: (Nervously) Hehe... Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry! Charles: Actually, if you take a look... Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever wheter you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! Charles: Where all this people come from? Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot! (Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head) Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination! Charles: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Hold Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar) Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door) (Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel) Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen? Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um... Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air. Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha! Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one? Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself. Charles: That's...That's amazing. Angela: Shh! It's starting! Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot... (The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains) Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita? Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie? Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked! (The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming) Angela: Wait...What? Why?! (A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship) Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them! Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark) (The end credits start playing)

Sorry, Vivziepop, I had to

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