Chapter Text
Dipper walked across the office meeting room with all of his employees/coworkers seated at the table.
“Okay, guys. I know business has been tough since Stan and Ford went into comas after getting attacked by that thing…”
“I never thought they could hurt people like that,” Mabel said with a shiver.
“So, yeah. That happened. And I know that without Ford’s spells we’ve been struggling in the Gravity Falls department…”
“Not to mention that our finances are stretched thin,” Marcy added, looking through her notes.
“Exactly,” Dipper nodded. “So, I was wondering if anybody had any ideas on how to get business drumming up again?”
He looked at the group before him and couldn’t help but think about how he’d met all these people and ended up where he is now.
It all started in that fateful summer back in 2012. Ford had offered to train him as his apprentice. They’d just fought an alien drone and gotten the adhesive and were really amped up. But surprisingly, Dipper turned him down. He realized he couldn’t leave Mabel, so he decided they’d grow up together. Then they sealed the rift and stopped Weirdmageddon.
Now, that isn’t to say he never took up the apprenticeship. After he and Mabel left, Ford and Stan reconciled and finally went on that sailing trip. It was then that the two decided to start a new business stationed in Gravity Falls.
Pines Inc was born.
A company that specialized in pest control of the supernatural built upon Ford’s many years of research with the Journals.
The twins returned every summer and started officially working for the company at eighteen. Now they were twenty-five, going on twenty-six, and were running Pines Inc themselves while their Grunkles were hospitalized.
In time, it wasn’t just the Pines family working in the business. A few years earlier there was this weird event call Frogvasion in LA. The government did its best to write it off as a hoax, and it somehow worked. The only reason they knew it was real was because they were tipped off by then President McGucket.
Yes. Old Man McGucket became President.
Moving on… they met the Calamity Trio of Anne Boonchuy, Sasha Waybright and Marcy Wu. Dipper and Mabel really hit it off with them and became fast friends. And now that they were eighteen they joined the company while working on their degrees online.
You’d think that’d be the end of it, but no. Anne had actually met a witch from Earth during her time on Amphibia and managed to track her down. That led to the large group meeting Luz Noceda, who then introduced them to the Demon Realm.
Ford and Dipper had a field day trying to write down every little thing they saw that day.
After learning that Titan’s Blood allowed portal technology to work, the Calamity Trio realized they could use it to return to Amphibia. King Clawthorne was kind enough to give them a few samples of his blood, so Anne called up her friends who’d been working on their own portal and finally returned to Amphibia.
It was a very tearful reunion.
After all three groups had gotten to know each other better, they realized that they could do a lot of good for all their homes if they worked together.
So, here they all were. From Gravity Falls were Dipper and Mabel. From Amphibia were Sasha, Marcy and Anne. And finally from the Demon Realm were Luz, Amity, Willow, Hunter and Gus.
Oh, and Steve, the former Emperor’s Coven Scout. He wanted a chance to actually help the people of the Isles, so he joined the Demon Realm Division of Pines Inc.
The large group pondered the question for a moment.
“We could focus more on Amphibia and the Boiling Isles?” Sasha proposed.
“The Core did leave Amphibia in a real mess,” Marcy agreed.
“And we’re still hunting those rogue Coven Heads that were against change,” Steve noted.
“I think the problem isn’t that business itself has been bad,” Amity, who’d grown up learning about business, began. “It’s that business in Gravity Falls has been bad.”
Dipper sighed, knowing this was true.
“Dealing with the local problems like ghosts has been difficult without Ford’s spells,” the young man nodded.
“It still amazes me that there’s magic humans can do,” Hunter said.
“I know, right?!” Luz added. “I feel so cheated!”
“Didn’t Ford write them down anywhere?” Anne questioned.
“He did, but after our first summer here he decided that his Journals were too dangerous. So, he threw them down the Bottomless pit,” Mabel answered.
“Well, doesn’t the Demon Realm have any spells that can handle possession or exorcisms?” Marcy asked.
“Unfortunately no. Ghosts don’t really do that where we’re from,” Hunter answered.
“So, that’s it? We can’t do anything in Gravity Falls until he recovers?” Willow asked.
“Afraid so,” Mabel nodded. Then she crossed her arms with a smirk. “But don’t worry,” she waved off. “People will still remember what we do thanks to that commercial I put out.”
Dipper hung his head and groaned.
“Mabel, the commercial is part of the problem. You spent all our savings to have it play on a channel that nobody watches!”
“Sure they do,” his sister argued. “You and Wendy watch it all the time on your movie nights.”
“We make fun of the stuff we see.”
“But you still watch it, and that makes me right. Plus, the commercial has a catchy jingle. Watch,” she said as she picked up the remote and turned on the tv.
“Hello, everyone! The voice over you’re hearing right now is me! Mabel Pines, current co-captain of Pines Inc! Are you an innocent creature that just needs help getting back home? Or are you someone getting harassed by a ghost? Well, don’t worry, cause we’ve got you covered.”
Mabel and Steve had gotten a bowl of popcorn that the two were munching on as they eagerly watched the commercial.
Sheriff Blubs and Durland were now being interviewed.
“I once had my doubts about that boy Dipper Pines,” Blubs began.
“But then he saved us from that giant bat that attacked us,” Durland finished.
“And we’re glad to have him around as part of Pines Inc. A company devoted to keeping us all safe from all sorts of weird things.”
A fire hydrant bursts behind them.
“Ooh! Let’s take off our shirts and run around in the water!” Durland beamed.
“You read my mind!” Blubs responded eagerly.
“Awe, they’re a sweet couple. I approve,” Luz gushed.
“Well, thanks to our vast knowledge of the magical world, we know many ways to solve your supernatural problems for you!”
Dipper is shown helping Ford with an exorcism.
“If you’ve got ghosts in your hair,
There’s no need to despair.
Pick up the phone aaand call Pines Inc!” the jingle began.
The company logo is shown.
“Removal or protection,
Your problems will be gone!
Pick up the phone aaand call Pines Inc!”
Three way split screen as the Amphibia group are fighting a giant Mantis, Dipper and Mabel are blowing away gnomes with a leaf-blower, and the Hexsquad are flying around a giant worm.
“We do our job so well,
Because we all have been through hell.”
Pictures of the Core, Belos and Bill are shown.
“We’ll save your husband or your wife!
You’ll get a stable life!
Pick up the phone aaand call Pines Inc!”
A slideshow of each group saving people is shown.
“Pick up the phone~
And call~
Pines Inc!”
Everyone then flys, runs or swings down to stand together with the logo above them.
“Save kids for free~!”
“Hehehe, that was fun,” Mabel smiled in pride.
“Mabel, it’s a good commercial and all, but people don’t actually like the jingles,” Dipper chided.
“I like the jingles,” Steve argued.
“Awe, you scallywag,” Mabel smiled and booped his nose.
“What can I say babe? You’re sensational,” he said with a loving look.
Oh, yeah. Those two have been dating since they met.
“Come here, you,” she said before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.
Anne and Luz gushed at the sight while the others smiled fondly.
Except for Dipper.
“Woah, okay! That’s gross! Don’t need to see that!” he exclaimed, turning around. He only faced them again after their lip lock ended. “Okay, I think we need to once again address our company’s position on PDA.”
“Oh, please,” Willow scoffed. “You’re just jealous that you’re the only one here that’s painfully single.”
“What? No I’m not,” he defended.
“Dude, you are,” Gus deadpanned.
“It’s kinda sad really,” Sasha added.
“I’ve been with women!” he argued, getting red in the face.
“Your bimonthly hookup doesn’t count, Dippingsauce,” his sister smirked.
“Can we–can we not refer to my encounters as ‘bimonthly hookups’?” the poor Pines man asked in embarrassment.
“Why not, Bro Bro? They are. I have a calendar to prove it,” Mabel said, holding the actual calendar up.
“What the f… How do you know when I even…?” Dipper stammered.
“I walked in on you,” she shivered, causing the others to drop their jaws.
“You saw that?!” her brother yelled, mortified.
“Learn how to lock a door.”
“Learn how to knock!”
“Knocking is for when doors are locked.”
“Knocking is for all the time!” Then he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Look, just don’t kiss in front of me, alright?”
Willow and Amity shared a smirk.
“What? You mean…” Willow began, standing up and taking Hunter with her.
“…Like this?” Amity finished, doing the same with Luz.
The two ladies then dipped and kissed their partners respectively. Dipper just scoffed and rolled his eyes. They broke the kiss, leaving their significant others in a daze with faces as red as tomatoes.
Anne and Marcy cooed at the sight while Sasha laughed at Dipper’s expense. The two then turned to their blonde companion and smiled. She just looked so adorable like that. They could boop her nose.
So, they did.
“Boop,” they said.
Sasha gaped at them both.
“You did not just do that!”
Marcy looked sheepish while Anne smirked at her.
“We did,” Boonchuy said.
“Oh, I will get you both for this.”
“Bring it on, Sash.”
Waybright pinched their cheeks.
“Saha~!” they both whined.
Marcy managed to swat the blonde’s hand off her own face. She tried to do the same for Anne, but accidentally hit her other cheek instead. Anne responded by tapping her hands on Marcy’s head like a drum.
“Take that, Mar-Mar!”
“Annabanana~!” Wu whined.
The three ladies then fell into a three way play fight of slapping, tugging and pinching each other. They were lost in their own little world.
“Pass me the popcorn?” Luz requested as they all watched the trio ‘fight.’
“They’re really adorable,” Willow smiled.
“Why aren’t they dating yet?” Hunter questioned.
“Some people just need to take their time,” Steve, ever the wise one, said. “They’ve been friends for so long, and that’s all they’ve wanted. But wants can change. Sometimes before you even know that they have. They’ll figure it out,” he finished with a smile.
“Wow, King was right. You are good with emotions,” Luz praised.
“And that’s why I fell for him,” Mabel sighed, laying her head against her boyfriend’s shoulder and lightly tapping his one horn with a finger. “But we’re totally going with my plan if it takes too long, right?”
“You mean locking them in a closet? I don’t know where I stand on that,” Amity said.
“Hooty said it worked for you and Luz.”
“Hooty’s leaving out a lot of context,” Luz admitted. “And even after we told each other how we felt, it was still super scary. Wasn’t it scary for you and Steve?”
“Uh uh,” Mabel shook her head with a smile. “I was too enamored.”
“Yeah, sorry. We pretty much clicked like… what were they called, Gus?” Steve asked.
“Legos,” the youngest Witch in the room answered.
“Thanks. We clicked like legos off the bat.” He turned back to the still play fighting Calamity Trio. “But it’s not the same for everybody. Give them time, they’ll figure it out.”
Three old friends halted in what they were doing upon finally noticing the others, even Dipper, were smirking at them. They broke apart, blushed brightly and coughed into their fists.
“So, what are the chances of getting those Journals back?” Anne asked, trying to change the unspoken subject. “If the Bottomless Pit shot you guys up, then doesn’t that mean those books should still be fine?”
The twins blinked before thinking it over.
“Dipper, if we can get the Journals back, then business should be booming again,” Mabel argued.
“Alright, then,” Dipper nodded. “We’ll stop by the Shack and…”
He was cut off by a vibrating sound.
Sasha pulled out her phone and looked at the screen.
“Guys, I just got a text from a new client. Says they’ve found a crime ring in Newtopia that has a bunch of old robots,” she reported with a frown.
“Oh, we’re definitely taking care of that,” Anne got up with determination.
“Okay, then you guys will go to Newtopia, and I’ll head to the Mystery Shack,” Dipper proposed.
“Sounds like a plan,” Amity nodded and rose up with the others.
“See you later, Dippingsauce,” his sister waved as they left.
Okay, just gotta jump in the Bottomless Pit, search for the Journals, and wait to get shot back up. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? I mean, where else could they be?
“Pacifica, the guests will be arriving soon. Do get ready,” Preston Northwest told his daughter from the dinning room table.
“Why are you even having this party again? ‘Still No Rebellion’? Seriously?”
“Mind your manners, Pacifica.” The aristocrat chided. “Your mother and I may have signed over the family fortune and the new manor to you, but we have a reputation to uphold, and a right to celebrate it.”
Pacifica let out a long suffering sigh before nodding.
“Fine. Just make it a short party.”
“That’s my girl,” he grinned.
The blonde woman left and entered her bedroom. After she closed the door she groaned loudly into a pillow.
“Dick,” she angrily referred to her ‘father.’
Then she glanced at her desk and saw a familiar book open on a page she was reading earlier.
May as well finish my work while I can.
She sat down and read the old pages before her.
Warning: prolonged use of the amulet will result in draining of the soul.
Pacifica picked up a pair of tweezers and carefully picked up the pieces of a broken greenish-blue crystal.
Just gotta be careful not to touch this stuff. I’ve been reading these things long enough to trust the warnings.
She then placed the pieces onto a metal collar with purple lights.
Now for the adhesive.
She picked up a small panel of metal that was covered in a purple glue. She took a swab and used it to fix the crystal and securely attach it to the collar.
Finally, the power source. And thank you, Candy and Grenda.
She picked up the last ingredient. It was a small vial of dark blue liquid.
Titan’s Blood.
She carefully poured the powerful liquid into a slot in the bracelet, being sure to use every last drop. Once she was done, she properly sealed it off with the adhesive and added more of the strange metal over it.
Pacifica put down her tools and looked at the device before her with a wide grin. Then she took hold of a small wooden sculpture. She had carved it herself into the form of a llama. She didn’t know why she chose that animal, but it’s what spoke to her.
This is it. Thirteen years of research has led to this.
She picked up the collar and wrapped it around the wooden llama’s neck.
Pacifica took a deep breath.
“Here I go.” Pacifica took a deep breath. “I don’t know what I really want to do. But I’ve been trapped in this house since I was thirteen. I had to sneak out to be with my friends. My parents try to put up this illusion of a perfect family, and use me for their reputation. While I am grateful for my dad finding these books and making me study them to perfection, I wish I’d gotten a say in the matter. So all I know is that whatever kind of person I am, I want it to be someone I choose to be.”
The sculpture began to glow with a faint green light. Specifically, a lake-foam-green.
Paz lightly gasped.
“That’s it. Come on, little fella. Come on…”
There was a knock and she hastily put down the wooden figure and turned to the door.
“Pacifica, are you getting ready?” her ‘mother’ asked.
“Yes, Mom,” she sighed.
She turned back to her special project and her face fell upon seeing that the light was gone.
I need to get this party over with. It’ll never happen otherwise.
She stood up, pet the back of the llama, and closed the book in front of her.
The cover showed a very familiar red background and a golden six-fingered hand with a number 2 in the middle.