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I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm gonna be an adult in less than 50 days and my life just feels miserable. I don't do anything all day. Yeah I help my parents with work and do some small jobs around my city for cheap but my life is just... empty. It feels empty. Im not satisfied with the way I live, I go to school, go to the gym, sometimes visit my girlfriend, come home and do whatever jobs I have at home or whwrever else and then play Warframe or Genshin the rest of my time. I don't know why I'm so unhappy. I'm trying to follow people's advice
I lift, I try to be physically active, I have an amazing girlfriend, I took up cooking as a hobby and yet life still feels so miserable. I feel like nobody cares for me and I dont know why. Of all people why do I feel like she doesn't care either? Whenever I talk to my friends it's always me starting the conversations and checking up on them, it doesn't feel like I'm getting the same back from anybody. I was probably born autistic so it's difficult to even meet new people bc I feel like I only fit in with weirdos and again it feels like even those aren't fond of me.
I try to study, I want to live a happy life with a lot of money, not even bc I'm a material person I just want to be able to live comfortably but whenever I try to study I fail. I can't focus. I think about how miserable I am and how I feel. I'm in one of the like top 3 classes in my school of like 30 and yeah sure that's probably impressive but I just feel like dead weight bc even though I'm near the top in the bigger picture I'm nothing to this class. I'm at the bottom 5 students of 31. I feel like I'm a failure and nothing will ever come of me.
I don't even have any motivation to work on my DnD campaign. Even though writing a good story is my dream in life I just can't push myself to do it.
I hate this. I don't like living like this, I don't get why I feel empty even though I seem to be doing stuff right. I don't get why I'm so miserable, I just want to be happy. I can't even tell them how miserable I feel because I feel like an attention seeker or like I'm burdening them with my emotions. I don't even want to tell my girlfriend, I just feel like I'm a waste of oxygen. I don't mean to sound edgy, I don't hate myself I think but I really just feel like my life is pointless.
This sucks dude.
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Sounds like you’re dealing with depression. Can you look into counseling or therapy? Also you are very young, it sounds like despite what you think about yourself, you have a lot going for you, more than many people do. Also something that helps me put my life into perspective is to volunteer somewhere. You picked up cooking, maybe volunteering your skills and time at your local soup kitchen could help you? Helping others makes me feel fulfilled and gives me a great feeling of gratitude every time I do it. I wish you the best!
I know I have a lot going for me. That's why I'm even more frustrated about all this, my life is very good but I'm just unhappy and I don't get why, I feel like a spoiled brat.
There aren't really any soup kitchens around here but I do feel better when I help people in any way, whether it be friends or strangers or whoever else. I might find some sorta alternative but I have no idea what else it could be. Thank you for the advice anyway.
You could volunteer at the Food Bank, anything really. I’d just search ways to volunteer in your area and pick something that means something to you. If you’re feeling spoiled, I can’t say enough about how donating your time to those who need it can really give you a good and well deserved boost! And I think you should look into some kind of counseling if you can. Maybe something is available at your school?