Chapter Text
Play "Evergreen" by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners the 13th song on the playlist
I quickly run through the brown, red, and yellow leaves that have recently fallen to the ground. I can hear Stephen's deep, labored breaths hot on my tail. It's been about a month and a half since everything went down with Kaecilius, and Stephen and I are learning how to make a new normal. Me more than him. Even though he's the Sorcerer Supreme, he takes time out of his day to help me train. He always tells me that the more I train, the better I become. Like the Ancient One said before him, I will become one of the most powerful sorcerers.
"Try to keep up, Steph!" I yell behind me.
"I'm too old for this, kid!" he screams back. I roll my eyes as I dodge a tree. We are in a nice hiking and running area in the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York. My family loved going here many times a year to see how the weather changes the beauty of the mountainscape. When I showed it to Stephen for the first time, he fell in love with the scenery. It's been our running track ever since.
"Weren't you just telling me a few months back that you could beat me in a race?!" I exclaim.
"Yeah, and that was two months ago!" he replies. I roll my eyes as I keep running. The nice feeling of my boots makes it feel like I'm running on clouds. Suddenly, I feel a grasp on my shirt. I quickly dodge it and look behind me. Stephen is right behind me, trying to catch me.
"No today, Doctor!" I shout.
Let's jump, guys! I tell my boot. Without stopping, I jump straight into the air. I soon see Stephen pass and land gently on the ground behind him not making a sound. It takes me a few seconds to catch up to him because he hasn't even noticed that I'm not in front of him. I take my arms and wrap them around his waist, tackling him down to the ground.
"Y/n!!" he hollers out as we hit the ground. Before he has a chance to react, I flip him over on his back and sit on his chest. I grab his arms pinning them down.
"Got you," I snarl, with a snarky grin. His eyes open wide in shock.
"Y/n! What the hell?" he asks in annoyance.
"Oh, come on Stephen. This was always the game, and I won," I explain.
"Y/n... let go before I make you let go," he lets out.
"Make me let go? Just say that I won, and I will let go," I tell him. I really hope he says I won because he is definitely stronger than me and could easily throw me off. His eyes narrow.
"Fine. You won," he states, rolling his eyes.
"Thank you." I let go of his arms and used his chest to get off of him. I plop down on the dry grass and roll onto my back next to him. "That was fun," I say. I hear him chuckle.
"Yeah, you got me running for my life, kid. You're getting better and better every day," Stephen responds. He outstretches his arm for me, and I get closer to him. I lay my head on his arm, and he pulls me in closer to him. It's chilly on this early November day, so it feels nice to be surrounded by his body heat.
"Well, it's you that's been helping me get better," I reply, turning my head toward him. He looks at me with gentle eyes.
"It helps a teacher when they have a great student," he compliments.
"Well, shucks." I blush under his stare.
"Do you mind if we rest here? I have been so tired recently," Stephen asks.
"No, not a problem." I look at him with concern. "Are you sleeping alright?" I question. Stephen's face drops, and there is a flicker of pain that dances in his eyes.
"No, not really. Just not getting the best sleep," he answers solemnly.
"Are you okay?" I whisper. He gives a sad grin and pushes the pain down, hiding it from me. Well, at least trying. I can tell that something is wrong.
"I'm fine, y/n. It's just-" he starts.
"A lot. I know and that's fine. I understand. You can tell me whatever is on your mind when you're ready," I explain. He nods. He puts his forehead against mine, sending shocks down my body.
"I know, and I thank you, y/n," he says quietly.
Play "Dandelions" by Ruth B. the 14th song on the playlist
"Pinky promise you'll tell me when you're ready," I state.
"Pinky promise?" he questions with confusion.
"Yep! Pinky promise. Gavin and I used to do it all the time. It was for us to know for certain that no one would back out of the promise," I tell him. He takes his head from mine and leans back.
"I haven't done a pinky promise since I was in elementary school," he chuckles.
"Well, if you want to be a party pooper that's up to you," I pout, sitting up and letting his arm fall off of me.
"No, no. I didn't say that," Stephen responds, sitting up as well. "Let's do it." He looks at me with kindness. I hand out my pinky, and he wraps his shaky one around it. We move our hands up and down, solidifying the promise.
"It's been done. No backing out now," I declare.
"I wasn't planning on it." He lets go of my pinky but suddenly intertwines his fingers with mine. My breath hitches in my throat. For the last months I've been trying to suppress the feelings I have for Stephen, but he's not making it any easier on me.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm done with our workout today," I say, letting go of his hand. I stand up off of the ground.
"Yeah, me too. I'm tuckered," he says quietly. He gets off the ground with a grunt.
"Are you still sore?" I ask with worry in my tone. He shakes his head.
"It's nothing, y/n. Nothing you have to worry about," he responds blankly. Is he mad at me for letting his hand drop? What did he want to come from that? We're just friends.
"Okay, if you say so," I say with a worried tone.
"I did say so. I'm a doctor, y/n. I can take care of myself," he says coldly. I swallow the lump in my throat. I must have upset him, but I really don't know what he wants from me. He shakes his head and looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. Like I said, I'm just really tired," he apologizes. His eyes do seem more dull than usual.
"It's all good, Doctor. I get it. Not getting sleep can really affect a person," I reply gently. He gives a slight smile.
"You ready to go back? I'm pretty thirsty," he asks.
"Yep," I say, nodding. He pulls out his sling ring from his black Nike shorts and waves his hand. I hear the crackling of the portal. I see that it leads into the kitchen. He walks in with me closely behind him. After I pass through, I see him close it and place his sling ring back into his pocket.
"You want a glass?" he asks, going over to the cupboard with the cups.
"Yes, please. If you don't mind," I answer, going over to sit at the bar.
"Of course." I watch as he gets the cups and places them on the counter. He's wearing a grey Nike tight-fitting shirt that really extenuates his muscles. He looks really, really good. Ughh, I got to stop these thoughts. I see him raise his hand and pass them over the cups. The cups are quickly filled with ice water. He grabs them and brings them over to the bar. I grab mine and take a sip of the cold, crispy water. He leans against the bar and does the same. I look up from my glass to see him looking at me intently. Like he's trying to find the words to say something.
"What is it, Steph?" I ask suspiciously.
"Can you really read me that well?" he questions.
"Well, we're together almost all the time, so I would say I'm getting pretty good at it," I respond with a snarky smile. He rolls his eyes and looks back at me.
"Yeah, well I do have something to tell you," he replies.
"Well, what is it?" I question, intently.
"I've been trying to find the correct way to say it without it sounding bad," he goes on.
"Stephen, just tell me," I state, interrupting him. He clears his throat as I take a sip of water.
"Okay, well..." he starts. "Umm, Christine is coming over for dinner tonight," he finishes quickly. I choke on my water in shock. The water dribbles from my mouth onto the counter.
"What?!" I exclaim. Stephen quickly runs over and grabs a paper towel coming back to me. He starts drying the counter. "Stephen, what do you mean she's coming over for dinner tonight?" I ask again, trying to calm down. He hands me the paper towel, and I take it drying off my face. He sighs.
"Well, we've been doing a lot of talking, and we want to try again," he says quietly.
"Try again? What do you mean try again?" I question.
"Like I mean try again with our relationship," he states. I swallow the lump in my throat, and my stomach suddenly starts to feel bad. Why do I feel so sick about this?
"When did you guys make this decision?" I ask.
"Recently. We've been texting and talking on the phone a lot since the Ancient One passed. It started as her checking up on me and then..." He looks down. "Grew into us talking more and more." He looks back at me. "I'm sorry I've kept this from you, but I really wanted to let you know from me. I really think this will be good for me," he explains. So, this is why he won't talk to me and tell me how he feels. He's been talking to Christine all along.
"I- I mean if you think this will be good for you and what you want then yeah, that's good. I'm glad you're happy," I let out quietly. Deep down I'm trying to keep my tears from spilling over. Why do I feel this way? It's not like I want to be with him.
"Thank you, kid. I really appreciate it. I knew you would be cool about it," he breaths out. "Though, I do have one thing to ask." I look at him with confusion. What more could he throw on me?
"What's up?" I question with confusion.
"I was wondering if you would join us for dinner for at least a little bit. I want you to get to know Christine and her to get to know you. She is a really amazing woman. And you are the most important person in my life. I want you both to be friends. I feel like if you both talked to each other, you would realize you have a lot more in common than you think," he explains. Did he just call me the most important person in his life? "Y/n?" he calls out. "Are you good with that?"
"Uhh, yeah. Yeah, I can join you guys for dinner. That sounds fun," I lie. He smiles. I can tell that he thought I was telling the truth.
"Yeah? Okay great, great. I'm making steak, baked potatoes, and some vegetables. And make sure you wear something nice," he says. I nod.
"Of course. I can do that. I can't wait. The food sounds delicious," I respond blankly.
"Oh, y/n! I'm so happy you're so chill about this. I was so nervous," he says sincerely, coming around the bar to me. He pulls me in for a hug. I hug him back taking in his sweet, musky smell.
"Of course, Steph. I know you would do the same for me," I let out against his chest. He pulls back with a smile.
"So, dinner will be at 7 if you want to meet us down here. I have a few things that I have to do, Sorcerer Supreme stuff, before I start dinner. Are you good if I let you be until then?" he asks. I shake my head.
"No, no. I'm good. You go do your fancy pants stuff, and I'll see you at 7. I have to catch up some reading anyways," I reply with a small smile.
"Okay, perfect. I'll see you tonight then!" he exclaims with excitement. He pats my arm, grabs his cup of water, and walks off in the direction of his study.
"See you." I let out a long sigh. I can't get mad at him for wanting to be with Christine. They were together before. They have chemistry. She is so beautiful and unbelievable smart. Why in the world would I ever think for a second that he would want to be with me? I don't have a college degree, I'm not half as pretty, and I am so much younger than her. It's not like I want to be with him. All I want is for him to be happy. And if this will make him happy, then I will do it.
I slide out of the chair. I dump the rest of my water down the sink and put the cup in the dishwasher. I make my way out of the kitchen and up to my room to get some reading done. Or at least try to. There are so many thoughts circling around in my head. I just wish they would shut up. But I can't get how Stephen's hands fill around mine out of my head. I can't get his beautiful eyes out of my head. I can't get his voice out of my head.
Why am I like this?
--
My phone buzzes. I place down my giant book and look down at my phone.
"Can't wait to see you soon. I know you will look gorgeous. Thanks again for agreeing to do this." The message from Stephen reads. I smile sadly at my phone. Even though he wants to go out with Christine, he still calls be gorgeous. Why does this man have to be so confusing?
"Of course. Can't wait!" I text back. I look at the time, and it reads 5:55. I decide to get up and get ready since I have to do my hair and makeup. I give Trash, who's sitting on my bed, a quick pet and kiss on the head. I go over to my closet so find something to wear. I decide on light blue dress with pretty, white embroidered flowers on the sleeves and bottom hem. I slip it on. I go over to my record player that Wong got for my birthday and let the hand down. I love listening to music when getting ready. I go over to do my makeup. I do my hair, makeup, and spray perfume on. I also put on the necklace Stephen gave me for my birthday. I wear it all the time. It's like my staple piece. I grab my boots and lace them up. I turn them into pretty white flats to match the white flowers. I turn off the record plater, and then go over and smile at myself in the mirror. I'm pretty, right? I'll make a good impression, right? I turn to Trash.
"How do I look, little man? You think it's good? Or is it too much?" I ask. He gives a little bark and wags his tail. I giggle and go over to give him a hug.
"Aww, thank you my sweet boy. You make me feel like the most beautiful girl," I tell him with a smile. I grab my phone, and it reads 6:50. "I guess I should go down now," I say out loud. Trash looks up at me with his big, brown eyes. "I wish you can tell me what to do," I sigh. He licks my hand as a comfort. I head to the door and open it for him. "Alright, you can do whatever. I got to go have dinner," I say to him. He quickly runs out the door, down the hallway, and out of my sight. "You didn't have to run off that quickly." I shake my head as I close my door. I head down the hallway and then down the large staircase. My heart races faster and faster as I get closer to the bottom. When I round the corner toward the kitchen, I can hear voices. Stephen's and Christine's laughter float down the hallway. I clinch my fists together and take a deep breath as I enter the kitchen. I can see Christine sitting at the bar. She has on a stunning red dress on with her makeup and hair done beautifully. I can tell why Stephen is so attracted to her. Stephen is on the other side of the bar a glass of red wine. He's wearing black dress bottoms with a rich blue button up shirt. He is so handsome.
Christine's eyes come up to meet mine.
"Oh, hello," she lets out. I smile. Stephen turns around with a big smile, and his eyes go wide when he sees me.
"Wow, y/n. You look very nice," he says in shock.
"Thank you," I respond quietly. Stephen quickly shakes his hand.
"Umm, Christine, I know you've meet y/n before, but I hope you both umm, get to know each other a little better tonight," he stutters out.
"Yes, of course. I'm glad you could join us," she tells me.
"I'm glad I could too," I reply. Stephen beckons for me to come over.
"Please, y/n. Sit out the table. I was just about to serve the food," he urges. I nod as I walk over to the table. Christine gets up and follow me over to the large wooden table that already has been set up with silverware. I sit down, and she sits on the opposite side as me.
"Y/n, you look gorgeous tonight," she says sincerely. I give her a small smile.
"Thank you so much. You are looking beautiful as well. I can see why Stephen is so attracted to you," I let out. Her cheeks grow rosy. Stephen comes to the table and places down two plates of steak in front of us.
"Yes, she is looking quite stunning tonight," he says before Christine has a chance to respond. He goes back in the kitchen to grab more food. Christine clears her throat.
"So, y/n. I haven't seen you since the night that you know..." she starts.
"That the Ancient One died," I interrupt coldly. Stephen drops something in the kitchen from my sudden outburst and coughs.
"All good!" he calls out. I can see Christine look down and then back up at me.
"Umm, yes. Since the Ancient One passed. How are you doing? It has been a while," she asks.
"I- I've been good. Just trying to keep busy," I reply. Stephen come over and puts the bowl full of seasoned vegetables and three baked potatoes in the middle of the table.
"Let me grab the drinks, and then we can eat," he states. "What do you want to drink, y/n?" he asks, turning to me.
"Oh, water is fine, Stephen. Thanks," I tell him.
"You sure?" he questions.
"Yep, just water," I say again. He nods and goes back to the kitchen. I look back at Christine.
"So umm, how are you?" I question, trying to be friendly.
"Oh, good. Very, very busy. The ER keeps me running around," she says with a chuckle.
"Well, I was just thankful that the best ER doctor in New York chose her night off to spend with me," Stephen retorts and he comes over with our drinks. He sits them down in front of us and sits down at the head of the table in between me and Christine.
"Of course. I am excited to be here," Christine tells him. He smiles warmly back at her. There is a pang of jealously, but I push it back.
"Let's dig in!" he exclaims. We all start eating and make small conversation. We talk about movies and music for a while. I give a few comments here and there. Then, Stephen and Christine start talking about when they first met in residency at Metro-General when their mean head of surgery yelled at them for saying something wrong to a patient. I sulk back in my seat because there is really nothing to say. Suddenly, there's a break in the conversation, and Christine looks at my direction.
"So, y/n, how did you and Stephen meet?" she genuinely asks. I sit back up in my chair and look at Stephen. He looks back at me with no discernable emotion.
"Oh, well it's a long story," I say, shaking my head.
"I don't mind, y/n. I want to learn more about you," she insists. My heart starts thudding against my chest, and I clinch my fists together. My fingernails dig into my palms.
"Well, Stephen actually saved my life, so yeah. And then he trained me to become Master of the Mystic Arts. That's about it," I explain, trying not to go into detail about my family's death and Kaecilius.
"He saved you? So cool! How?" she questions further.
"I- Umm... Well he-" I stutter, looking down. I feel a soft weight on my arm. I look up and see Stephen's hand on my arm.
"I saved her from almost dying. That's it. She's repaid that debt a million times by now," he explains. His eyes look gently into mine. I look over at Christine. Her eyes stare down at Stephen holding my arm. I quickly move my arm from under his grasp and avoid his eye contact.
"Oh, okay. Well, still that is a cool meet story. Better than me and Stephen's," she forces a chuckle.
"Well, I don't know about that..." I say quietly. I reach up and grab my pendant and start rubbing over the diamond stars. It helps me not pick at my cuticles which I have a really bad habit of when I'm in uncomfortable situations.
"That necklace. It's beautiful," Christine tells me.
"Oh, thank you," I respond.
"Where did you get it from?" she asks.
"Oh, I got it from Stephen," I reply. Her mouth drops open a little when she hears that.
"You got it from Stephen?" she questions slowly. Her confused eyes flicker between me and Stephen. I swallow hard.
"Uhh, yeah. He got it for me for my birthday," I say quietly.
"And when was your birthday?" she inquires further.
"In September," I answer quickly.
"So, he only knew you a few weeks before dropping well over a thousand dollars on a necklace for you," she says with frustration. My hand drops from my necklace, and my face goes hot. Is she mad? What's happening?
"Christine..." I hear Stephen say quietly. Christine snaps her head toward him. Her eyes full of anger.
"So, you can drop money on a girl, a little girl might I add, in less than a month of knowing her but never bought anything like that for me. A woman you claimed to love?!" she screams at him. I back up in my chair, tears brimming in my eyes. I turn to Stephen. His mouth is wide open in shock. He shakes his head.
"Christine, Christine. It's not like that," he tells her with a shaky voice.
"Well, it sure seems like you like y/n wayyy more than you ever liked me. I mean you basically forced me to say yes to her joining us for dinner tonight," she retorts. My heart hurts heart after hearing those painful words.
"Christine, y/n and I are just friends. Friends that's it. I wanted to get her something nice for her birthday because her parents and brothers had recently died. That's all. I just wanted to make her happy, and I thought you said you were okay with her joining us," he explains, trying to calm her down. He places a hand on her arm, and she snatches it away from her.
"No, I felt bad about saying no, so I said yes. And you wanted to make her happy? Oh, I'm sure you made the pretty, little orphan girl happy." She snaps her head at me. "So, what was it like kissing him? Everything you ever dreamed of?" she asks me with a snarl. My mouth drops open. Stephen stands up in his spot so suddenly that the chair falls with a loud boom behind him.
"Christine! You have no right, absolutely no right to talk to y/n like that. This is between us!" he yells at.
"Isn't she old enough to defend herself?" she screams back at him. She turns to me again, fire in her eyes. "What are you, seventeen?"
"Christine, that's enough!!" Stephen yells to the top of his lungs. I have never, ever heard him yell like that. At this point, the tears sting my face as they fall from my eyes, ruining my makeup. Silence falls over the room. Christine looks at him with shock and anger. I stand up quickly.
"I'm going to excuse myself," I say quietly, my voice cracking. I push the chair under and start to walk out.
"Y/n, wait. We can talk this out," Stephen pleads.
"No, let her go, Stephen. Like you said, this between us. Besides the adults, need to talk," I hear Christine spout as I exit the kitchen.
"Y/n..." is the last thing I hear Stephen say before I bolt down the hallway and up the stairs. I didn't want to hear anything else of that horrible, disgusting conversation. Tears flow down my face like a waterfall as I reach my room. When I open it, Trash runs in before me. I slam it behind me. I plop down on bed and without taking anything off, I cover up in blanket and sob into my pillow. I can feel Trash lay down beside me, his body heat radiating to me.
Why would she say that? What would possess her to say that? How mean can someone be to say something truly so awful? How can Stephen like that woman?
Is she right, though? Does Stephen like me more than her? No, that can't be. He wants her to be his girlfriend. Not me. But Stephen did also tell that I am the most important person in his life. Ughh, why is this so confusing? All I want is to live a normal life. Whatever normal is. I don't think I'm ever going to achieve that.
My tears finally dry up, and I lay in bed for a gently petting Trash while he sleeps. He could seriously be a therapy dog. His presence is so comforting. I'm not sure how long it's been since I ran off, but I hear an all too familiar three knocks on the door.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Y/n, can I come in?" I hear Stephen's voice call out. I don't respond. I just lay there. "Y/n, please," he calls out again. I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
Play "True Blue" by boygenius the 14th song in the playlist
"Come in," I say with a hoarse throat. I hear the door crack open and close behind him. He come over to the other side of the bed.
"Can I sit?" he asks gently. I nod. He slides onto the bed and sits close to me. He lets out a long sigh. "God, y/n, I'm so, so sorry a million times over you had to witness that," he says sincerely.
"It's okay," I let out.
"No, no. It's not okay. What she said was totally and entirely unacceptable and inexcusable," he explains with anger.
"I'm sorry for being a burden," I tell him quietly.
"Oh, y/n. Come here." He gestures for me to scoot closer to him. I do, and he helps me lay my head on his lap. "You are not a burden. You are never a burden. You never have been. It was all Christine. It was her fault. She had some suppressed emotions over me, and it just blew up tonight. And unfortunately, you were there," he tells me.
"You promise," I ask, looking up at him. His gentle eyes look back down at me.
"Pinky promise," he whispers, holding up his pinky. I give a sad smile as I interlace mine with his. He lets go of my pinky and gently wipes the tears off my stained cheeks. "You are the most important person in my life, y/n. Don't forget that," he says. What does he mean by that? I thought it would be Christine.
"So, did Christine leave?" I ask. He nods.
"Yes, she left a few minutes ago," he replies.
"Are you guys okay or..." I question. He smiles slightly at me.
"We've talked it out. We're okay. We talked a lot about what happened between us last time we were together and all the resentment she harbored against me. Nothing like that will ever happen again. She got everything she needed to out to me," he explains.
"So, she'll still be coming around?" I question further.
"Yes, y/n. She's my girlfriend, and I like her," he responds. My heart drops. So, she is offcially his girlfriend.
"Oh, okay," I say under my breath. He looks at me with concerned eyes.
"Is that actually okay?" he asks. I nod.
"Yeah, yeah. If you're happy, I'm happy. If you like her, I like her," I lie. He smiles a sweet smile.
"I'm so glad. This makes me so happy. Both of you do. You'll have to give her another chance. I promise she's amazing just like you," he says happily. I give him a fake smile.
"Of course. I would love to," I respond. Stephen brushes his fingers through my hair, sending electric shocks down my body. How can he look at me like this? How can he touch me like this? How can he say all those things about me and not have any feelings toward me?
"Well, it's getting late, so I'm going to leave you to get some sleep. And I'm going to try to get some rest myself. I'm exhausted," he says with a tired sigh. I nod as I slide off of him.
"Of course, yeah. What time is it?" I ask.
"Around 11 I believe," he answers, getting off of the bed. Dang, so I was in bed just laying here for a while.
"Okay, well, I hope you get good rest then," I tell him as he walks over to the door.
"You too, y/n. Goodnight," he says when he opens the door.
"Goodnight," I reply. He walks through the door and looks back at me.
"You did look gorgeous tonight. Thanks for coming and trying to be friends with her. It means a lot to me. I know that it was hard for you," he says with kindness.
"Anything for you, Steph," I let out quietly. He gives me a sweet, kind smile and pulls the door closed. I take a deep breath. How is he going to tell me all of those things and still want to be with Christine? I mean it's not like I want him to like me. Right?
No. Besides, he has a girlfriend now.