Four movie moms who feel real

Even if the screen mom isn’t the angel-voiced, infallible, governess-turned-stepparent Maria von Trapp from “The Sound of Music,” there is a desire to categorize women as great matriarchs (think Mother Robinson from “Swiss Family Robinson,” Mrs. Incredible from “The Incredibles” or Marmee March from any of the “Little Women” adaptations) or antagonists (Mother Gothel from “Rapunzel” or Margaret White from “Carrie”). And while that spectrum does exist, minus the magical elements, most moms don’t hit either extreme. Because the complicated woman who argues with you over fake Facebook news and tells you to lose weight is the same person who wiped your backside until you could do it yourself, and still worries if you’re safe at night.

To celebrate the moms who burn holes through the bottom of pots when they boil water, here are four movie mothers who act like real moms.

Lady Bird

In recession-ravaged Sacramento, Marion McPherson (Laurie Metcalf) overworks herself to make ends meet for her family. A strong-willed and opinionated woman, she clashes with her equally prickly daughter who has recently changed her name to Lady Bird (Saoirse Ronan).

The pink-haired teen wants to go to college on the other side of the country and live out her idealist, creative visions. Her mom spends this 2017 film, written and directed by Greta Gerwig, gracelessly dragging her down to reality — declaring their family can’t afford out-of-state tuition and Lady Bird’s dreams are unattainable. Marion is blunt and unimpressed by her daughter’s current trajectory.

The tug of war between the two women leads to a scene so raw and uncomfortable it could be plucked from any strip-mall dressing room in America:

Lady Bird: “I just wish … I wish that you liked me.”

Marion: “Of course I love you.”

Lady Bird: “But do you like me?”

Marion: “I want you to be the very best version of yourself you can be.”

Lady Bird: “What if this is the best version?”

Marion loves her daughter but doesn’t always believe that she can change her status. Being forged in the fire of her family’s economic hardships, Marion’s perspective of the world is less Technicolor than that of her free-spirited child. Her view isn’t inaccurate, but she’s trying to guide a wild bird into a PetSmart plastic cage.

Mamma Mia!

A mother’s life does not begin with conception.

Take Donna (Meryl Streep), from the 2008 movie musical “Mamma Mia!” In her youth, she spent a sparkling summer in Europe capturing the hearts and sperm of three enticing men. By fall, she’d learned she was pregnant and decided to raise her daughter by herself, while also opening a hotel on a Greek island.

In the film, adapted from the 1999 stage musical spun from Abba songs, her daughter Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) invites her three possible fathers to her wedding, forcing Donna to face the many unresolved threads of her past. She’s wonderfully supportive of Sophie, but she’s not a meek, virginal or subdued mother. When Donna enters a room, she dazzles.

Donna does make the morally questionable decision to never get a paternity test, alert the possible fathers or provide her daughter with the answers she seeks regarding her conception. But she dances in go-go boots, so I guess all is forgiven? By the audience, anyway.

The Birdcage

Who doesn’t wish their mom was Nathan Lane in drag? The warmth in Lane’s role as Albert in “The Birdcage” (1996), adapted from 1978’s “La Cage aux Folles,” is less because of the “Stepford Wives”-esque persona he puts on, and more a result of the lengths to which he goes to make a son happy.

At first, Val (Dan Futterman) wants to hide Albert’s relationship with his biological father, Armand (Robin Williams), from his homophobic future in-laws. Though crushed by the idea that his stepson is ashamed of his lifestyle, Albert acquiesces. That is, until things go awry and Albert, in drag, plays a more “acceptable” version of Armand’s partner.

Albert is a diva, over-the-top, dramatic and self-aggrandizing even for proprietors of a Miami drag club. But he’s just as willing to do conventionally absurd things, like pretend to be a Republican, to make life easier for his family. Albert is proof that family isn’t fixed but fluid, reliant on neither blood nor gender.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

There is a spectrum of motherhood that sits somewhere between the abusive horror of “Mommie Dearest” and the nurturing beauty of “Steel Magnolias.” It’s trying your best, only to realize that maybe your best wasn’t good enough.

In “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Michelle Yeoh plays Evelyn, a Chinese immigrant who can’t accept the life choices of Joy (Stephanie Hsu), her queer, 20-something daughter. Her main issues include Joy’s new tattoo and the fact that she never calls or comes around unless she needs something. Plus, she’s gaining weight.

Even though it’s packaged in an unconventionally hyperactive Oscar-winning movie, their relationship journey is nothing new. Through an adventure of self-discovery and world-saving, Evelyn learns that if she could choose to be anyone or anywhere, she would still choose to be Joy’s mom. Through all of the hurt they cause each other, their connection is worth preserving.

This isn’t an idyllic mother-daughter bond; it’s messy, painful and bursting with mutual resentment. Unfinished arguments weave their way into conversations and may never be fully resolved. Which is why “Everything Everywhere All at Once” — a movie that so many critics say is uniquely of its time — is likely to stand the test of time.

Even on the big screen, real moms never go out of style.