I just realized my twin sister is a bad sister… and idk what to do. I don’t want this posted on any other platforms especially tiktok or reposted on reddit.

I’ve had a really really hard couple of months, these past few months I’ve been a especially hard because I’ve been battling depression and PTSD from an abusive relationship that I was in. I dropped out of community college for a semester and moved back home with my family. For context, I have four older sisters and one twin sister. It’s just me and my twin sister living in the apartment with our dad. When I came home, I thought it would be really refreshing to get an another start before moving back to my own apartment. But unfortunately, my car broke down. I lost my job, and I don’t really have any friends left. My dad works a lot so I could barely talk to him. And when I tried to talk to my sister, she apparently we get overwhelmed, which I understand, but she would just stay in her room and not even try to talk to me. She would avoid talking to me about anything and having out with me to even watch a short show. And she even admitted to me in one of her conversations that she was because she felt “guilty”. patient with her throughout these eight months that I’ve been home but she just keeps on making up excuses and when I come and check on her, I tell her that she has to talk to somebody even if it’s not me she yells at me to get out and cusses me out and I don’t know what to do. I’m just so hurt because all these years I thought that she was so caring but she’s not, she doesn’t feel any empathy. A few years ago when i was SAed there was a rumor that spread in the private school we attended. and apparently she already knew about it from her then boyfriend, and when I tried to come to her and ask for help, she was on his side saying that it’s my fault because the guy was the boyfriend’s friend. And I had nobody there for me and I felt so alone that year in school, because the guy who did it spreaded a rumor saying i wanted it before i could even tell my side of the story. and after that, after she broke up with him, our relationship got better and she constantly apologized about it. But I don’t know how sorry somebody could be the same thing happen. I’m begging have some support and there’s just excuses. And all this time throughout our childhood, when I would warn her about somebody, or tell her about somebody or not want to associate myself with somebody because of what they did, she always chose their side and always understood the other person. I felt like I had to protect her and forgive her for everything and I never stayed mad at her, but she can hold a grudge like no other. I’ve been so sad she doesn’t even check in. Or when I say that I’m sad about not having a job she didn’t let me work at her job because she doesn’t want people “” comparing us.” throughout our school people called me. The one called me the “slut” called me the “uglier one” “the dumber one” from our friends, to our instructors, even from my immediate family members. It just makes me feel so angry because she she acts like she’s a saint in front of our dad and her friends, she says that i’m her best friend on social media. and convinced my dad that she’s so sad that she can’t even try a little bit harder to make me feel supported. And she gets so offended when I say that I don’t like talking to her sometimes, even though when we have arguments, she will be the first and last one to cuss me out and I won’t say rude thing to her. I just feel so much to blame for how she acts because this whole time I didn’t realize that I was the one getting treated bad and I was the one who needed empathy and protection as well, I feel so stupid. She makes me feel so stupid like I’m a bad sister for wanting more effort in our relationship. and I don’t know if anybody else has gone through this but this is worse than my break up. This is worse than PTSD. This is worse. The old school was calling me all sorts of names and blaming me for sexual assault, why I’m going through this? How can she suddenly not be sad enough to build a relationship with a guy but not try to build ours back up? She makes so much effort for him, and i’m happy for her but what about me? She always lies to me for her friends or boyfriends and never feels bad about it. I’ve never lied or kept anything from her. I have no other friends. I just don’t know how this could happen. What do I do? My dad says i have to move on and stop waiting on her, and wants to take us to family counseling. But I am so disappointed and disgusted by her. She’s mad at me right now because i said i don’t like talking to her. At first apologized and says “but you” and makes up every excuse in the book, yes i can improve in things but she’s in the wrong here, i’ve been there for her through everything, she hasn’t even been there for me through the hardest times of my life, she won’t even let me hang out with her friends ever because she “feels like she can’t be herself around me and them together”. She’s just been selfish and i’m tired of it. I would give her the clothes off my back but it’s just all a show for other ppl. I do feel like she feels some emotions but even now i don’t think she cares. I’m just at a loss about this situation has anybody else gone through this?