Not Another Church Movie Parent Guide

Taylor Pherry (Kevin Daniels) is on a mission from God (Jamie Foxx). He’s been told to empower women by writing a screenplay to replace the show helmed by failing TV personality Hoprah Windfall (Luc Ashley) - but he doesn’t know where to start. Thankfully, Taylor’s crazy family are there to provide inspiration. Mostly that comes from his crude, outspoken, and obtrusive aunt Madude (also played by Kevin Daniels), who loves throwing her weight around and getting into trouble. Unfortunately for Taylor, there are other forces at work in his life – the Devil himself (Mickey Rourke) seems only mildly interested in stopping him, but he’s going to make things more difficult. Probably.

Not Another Church Movie is, obviously, a parody of Tyler Perry’s wretched films. All parodies walk a knife’s edge. As Nietzsche warms” “Beware that when fighting monsters you yourself do not become a monster…for when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” Or, more accurately, beware that when parodying awful films, you do not yourself make an awful film. At this point, watching this disastrous production is just as unpleasant as watching an actual Tyler Perry movie.

Comedies without funny elements are not, in fact, comedies. If you fail to be funny, what you’re now making is called “a waste of everybody’s time and money”. This film falls firmly into that category. All this production promises is to take 90 minutes of your life which, not only will you never get back, but which you will regret for as long as you remember them. Few things are as uncomfortable as a long pause for laughter in which nobody laughs – not that I had much of a sample size. There was only one other person in my theater: apparently most people have the good sense to avoid this like anthrax.

To add to the endless woes of this production, it’s an incoherent, unintelligible mess. None of the plot points lead anywhere, and lacking any jokes to distract you from this fact, it’s painfully obvious that no one knows what’s supposed to happen next. Add to that a lot of profanity and some profoundly inappropriate sexual remarks, and you have a real winner for family movie night. I’ll also give you religious folks a heads up that you’re probably going to take issue with, well, most of the actual plot of the movie. Not that the movie has any time for its own plot. More importantly, though, I don’t have any time for this. You couldn’t get me to sit through this again for love or money – and I only did it for money the first time.