r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey.
💭Seeking Support & Advice
I was wondering if anyone else here becomes obsessed with something (or someone) and then eventually trade it with something new? I have noticed this pattern of behavior in myself for a while now and I’m just wondering how common it is. I always find myself obsessed with something and it’s very mentally draining. If there’s any coping strategies that anyone knows about please let me know. This is my first time posting on here and I’ve been recently diagnosed, so I’m sorry if this has been talked about many times before.
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Yes. This is a classic symptom of BPD. This month, for me, it's terrariums 😂
Ok thank you. I was wondering because the stuff that I become obsessed with is so random and I don’t understand it. Also when it comes to people once I get out of that fixation, I wonder why I ever did it in the first place. I’ve always been interested in terrariums I think I will look them up. It helps to know I’m not alone. Thank you for your response.
Check out the antscanada youtube channel! He builds a 1200 gallon one in his house - it is amazing!
But yeah, personally I've always considered bpd to be a form of neurodivergence. And obsessions with random things, topics and people is something that is quote common in adhd, autism and other types of neurodivergence. In bpd people, it can have a lot to do with our sense of self or lack thereof. Pwbpd tend to cycle through hobbies quickly but intensely. Try to enjoy the ride, we get to experience a lot of different things and while it might hinder our ability to ever get really good or knowledgeable about anything specific, we do get to have a lot of different cool experiences along the way! Not everything about our bpd has to be negative 🙂
Have a wonderful day friend 🧡
What a lovely response
Thank you. Your response gives me a lot of hope ❤️ I will check it out thank you so much again.
Yep, did the terrarium thing myself too.
Hell yeah, terrariums are cool
yep. i’m an addict so i switch between drugs and alcohol. and sometimes i’ll binge watch a show and it’s all i think about for a month but once i’m done i’m done.
That sounds so rough. I’m genuinely glad I stick to hobbies with this bad habit.
yeah :/ i try to switch to actual hobbies but i lowkey gave myself brain damage from the substance abuse so it’s hard to focus on anything. i used to have a video game addiction too which i’d much rather have again but i have no interest anymore ;-;
I struggle being interested in my many hobbies too. Just because I want to do it doesn’t mean I will. I also struggle with brain damage that’s most likely due to substance abuse. I get how much harder life can be after you’ve turned your brain into scrambled eggs too many times. The scrambled egg brains sure do add a nice flair to my mental illness though, lol
Yes I’m an addict as well. I thought my addictions were only surrounded by substances but I’m quickly learning that’s not the case at all. I don’t even mean to do it. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well. I’ve gotten sober on several occasions but it seems that I always find myself back.
i’m sorry that you get it and struggle too 😭 have you ever watched euphoria? in rue’s special episode ali tells her “the worst part about the disease of addiction,,, is no one sees it as a disease!” which makes me spiral a bit. because before i started doing drugs i’d get addicted to video games and shows and hobbies and stuff but no one saw a problem with that. but now because it’s drugs people see ME as a problem? it’s messed up but fuck it we ball~~~
Yes the first season of euphoria was really good but the second season made me just want to get high again. It really shows you how addiction works though. It just hits too close to home for me sometimes. But I love that show. And yes I think any addiction should be treated as if it were a drug addiction. I know I trade addictions so I’m not helping myself at all because I’m just relaxing jt and not dealing with the main problem.
All the time. One month it’s a new video game. The next it’s crochet. Another new month comes along and I’m going to start an online shop where I sell prints. Very confusing way to never be able to accomplish anything ever.
Absolutely! It always seems like it rotates monthly for me, too. I always start things and I never finish them. I wish I could just actually be consistent about my hobbies and stop flip flopping around.
Yes. Most obsessions are a few months until I learn ‘everything’ about it and then it becomes very dull so I find a Brand New Shiny Thing™ to obsess over and rinse and repeat.
Omg. How true this is. I have an intense desire to learn everything about something too and then I go to the next. It’s so mentally exhausting.
Exhausting is the correct description. 😕 I wish I could stick to something long term but nope.
Oh yeah, I have so much arts and crafts and projects and hobby’s that just don’t get the attention they deserve, it’s kinda annoying actually.
I completely understand. It is annoying. I’ve had people that have given me hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies that are literally just sitting in a bag on my floor with dust on it because I touched it one time and never again. Or I’ll get them out and get distracted by something else.
You and me both! My collection of paint and canvas’s and journals and beads and.. the list goes on and on.
Yep. Went from listening to over 400 episodes of one podcast for months, and then moved to drag race where I watched every season in a few weeks and bought like $300 worth of makeup I’ll never use, and now I’m onto Stardew Valley. If I’m not working or sleeping, I’m playing that game now. Just bought a Stardew tshirt too lmao. It’s nuts.
If that isn’t the truth. Only when we’re working and sleeping is when we get time away from our obsessions. I love drag race though! And I listen to podcasts or music at work. I feel like it helps me focus. The money I’ve spent on skincare and makeup that just sits there never used is so sad. I’ve probably spent thousands and it’s just sitting in a drawer. Hopefully one day both of us can find some use for it. I’m glad I’m not alone.
Yes but I’m happy with my new obsession currently obsessed with working out again, family life and most of all gojo satoru best trade off ever lol 😂 also cooking all of a sudden which has been pretty fun c:
STOP i just got into jjk too 😭 that's too funny
lol you’re in for a ride 😂 if you’re watching in sub I highly recommend watching a couple in dub because it’s chef kiss 👌🏼
i watched all of it in dub!!! it was truly chef's kiss 😂
I’ve always wanted to get into cooking! I’m hoping I can be more like you and have healthier obsessions. One of my friends talks all the time about gojo satoru! I will have to watch it.
Yes! Even when it comes to food I'm like this, I will want only a certain food for weeks/months, and then suddenly completely change to something else.
yes!!! i’ll eat one food for weeks and it’s honestly really annoying cause my bank account suffers
Yes!! I get burnt out on it from eating the same food constantly, and then I won’t eat it again for years.
Adhd and bpd seem to have so much overlap.
& autism
They really do. I have ADHD too so sometimes I don’t know which one is acting up. It’s frustrating.
Yep like reddit
Absolutely yea a few weeks ago i was CRAAZY about looking at fishes. it got so annoying for everyone around me cus every hangout, id want to go to the aquarium and i wouldnt stop talking about them . im over it now lol but yea i do get stuck up one one thing
Yepppp. My poor arts and crafts, makeup, sticker, notebook, book, plant, home improvement, and nail polish collections.... 😅
I’ve also spent so much on books and makeup and it just sits there staring at me. I have book shelves full of books that I haven’t picked up in 5 years and never read. I can’t part with them though because I always think I’m going to get back into it.
Yepppp! I have a hard time getting rid of anything because "well I may get back into it someday...."
Yep, exactly what I say too!
Me w cocaine
I feel ya
Yes
Gaming , relationships , sh , starving , alcohol , drugs , b/p in that order
Man, now I'm jst addicted to Chaos in my life
I understand that. I have to have something that makes me feel better in order to cope with my life. I also self sabotage to make things chaotic for some reason. Or I just don’t care if it ends up bad. It’s a constant struggle.
For three days my dumbass thought I was going to go to med school and be a doctor 💀
this me right now😭😭 and my parents are not letting go of it
Me. I just picked up intense interest in something I first got I obsessed with in the 80s, and when I woke up this morning it was over.
Edited a missing word
I’ve been super into the 80s too. I had a tumblr blog that was all 80s. It’s the movies and music for me, and of course a much simpler time.
Yes! I’m honestly shocked I’ve enjoyed the sport I am in for so long because I thought I’d lose interest at sometime
What sport?
I’ve bowled since a kid. It’s been the only hobby and interest I’ve had that stuck
Yes, it is hyperfixation. For me it can last a few days to a few months. Almost joined the LDS church, got really into cooking and made a bunch of meals that I froze and never ate, got big into painting and bought a bunch of stuff I'll never use, got really into exercising at one point which was great, got into disc golf and dropped a bunch of money on discs, got obsessed with reddit, focus on a phone game one at a time, will stay up late to read about my current interest... It's helped me develop some good hobbies that have stuck (freshwater fish-keeping and houseplants). But mostly I just drop a bunch of money on things I'll never use. Since I realized this, I make myself wait a few weeks before purchasing something related to my latest interest. I've also asked my sister to not support me with one of these interests until I know it's a healthy one or not.
That’s great that you’ve taken those steps. That sounds like a smart plan. I also have spent thousands on things I’ll never use. You couldn’t tell me anything I was going to do what I wanted to do. I’ve since backed off but I still have so many things.
Yes, though I tend to go back to the hobby/interest after 3+ months away from it. I keep my hobbies/interests on rotation lmao.
Yep definitely a rotation for me too
Right now for me it’s bread baking
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Those projects sound fascinating. I love lava lamps I have two in my room. I’m sure these keep your mind busy and you have something to show for it!
This is literally me, I relate a lot but yea I learned later that this is actually a symptom of BPD so I felt validated, it explains a lot
I learned that too. I feel the same way. A little relief.
Yeah I can't stick to anything. I apply myself to all the theory then don't apply myself to it because at that point when it becomes practical, there can now be perceived "failures"
YES absolutely, OMG
Yeah, I'm beginning to think that it is one of the common traits.
I thought this was just me having a special interest as someone on the autism spectrum but I never stick with it for very long and I’ve gone through so many obsessions I can’t even remember them all and when I’m in them I make it my whole personality didn’t realize that was a bpd thing oop
i become obsessed with food and video games, right now my current obsession is this very expensive restaurant and it’s killing my bank account but if i don’t eat there almost everyday it makes me depressed. very stupid and very annoying but yea that’s my obsession
Yep the mind wants what it wants and it’s super hard to turn it down. I get depressed if I deny myself too.
This month's food obsession is overnight oats and Klondike bars. Welcome to the obsessive food feature of bpd lol
I love overnight oats omg. I’m learning so much about bpd
All the time. The only thing that’s been a constant is fixing up a project truck. Idk why but it’s become a massive passion and it hasn’t faded away in two years. Thank god cuz she’s expensive 😂
I go through this as well! Unfortunately, I don’t having any coping strategies to manage it, but hope to find some that work for me! My current fixation is audio dramas and cross stitching. I started to realize it was a problem for me when I started my own business and then threw it out the window three months later, after thousands of dollars spend on inventory, which I still have most of 😵💫
Yes if I find any I will post them. I’m sorry about your business. Hopefully we can find something to help ourselves and be productive with our obsessions.
Yeah, I do it with gaming all the time.
I don't get obsessed with something but I do get obsessed with someone every couple of months, when the obsession fades away I get obsessed to another person and like that. It's tiring. I try not to act upon my thoughts even though I get obsessive thoughts.
Yes I also have gotten obsessed with a guy in my life. The way I move on is almost scary. Distinguishing between healthy and harmful thoughts is a huge part at least for myself.
My spouse has BPD and constantly changes hobbies. Before her diagnosis, I resented it because it cost us a fortune. Now I fully support it. Last month it was collecting Rainbow High dolls. The month before that it was collecting the miniverse things
That’s wonderful you support her!
Yes. I have just accepted the title of the many different layers of weird that a lot of us are
Hyper focusing is part of why BPD can often present as ADHD or have an overlap with ADHD. For me hyperfocuses/obsessions come in waves and can - and often do - include people. Especially women I am starting a relationship with.
All the time.
Sometimes I’ll come back to a topic years later too.
100%. I actually had to talk to my career advisor about this because I was like "I can't commit to any job because my interests change so dramatically every month." Right now it's guns for some reason? Before that it was Guilty Gear Strive (after A.B.A's release--she is me fr). Generally, I find that I become obsessed with the things that other people that I like are interested in. Or, I become obsessed with trying to emulate people that appear to garner a lot of respect of affection.
Yes I’ve done this too, even with celebrities. I’ve even bought the same clothes they would wear, listen to the same music, watch the same shows, basically try to be someone else. I can get carried away so I don’t do that anymore .
An obsession can be a good thing, as long as it isnt sex, drugs, another person, or something that makes you angry. Like, hiking trails and gardening and fostering baby animals and trying different flavors of pudding could all be healthy obsessions that help you avoid unhealthy obsessions.
Yes, I always have. With food, substances, music artist I become obsessed with, career wise, daily routines, different styles. Omg and hobbies.
yup. tho to be honest i always thought it was my adhd. my bank account hates it every time i find a new obsession 🥴
I have an obsession with My Chemical Romance lol, forever and always.
Some other topics though in which I’ve devoted endless amounts of time and energy into just to ultimately grow bored of and ditch entirely: American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, The Brobecks
Yup, I do too
yes, never know if its my bpd or adhd thats causes this, maybe both. although this has kinda gone since my depression got worse 6 years ago, they are usually super short lived now, they used to last a few months but now i dont have energy for that and they last a day or two
yes for the past couple of months ive been obsessed with building my car up to go on an overlanding/camping trip that ill probably never be able to afford to go on
I just went down a black hole about the Bhopal Gas Tragedy...highly recommend.