Some retirees like to be alone - is that a bad thing?

By Morey Stettner

Is flying solo bad for your health?

When Greta Garbo said, "I want to be alone," in the 1932 movie "Grand Hotel," she speaks for many of us. We want to be alone, too.

As we near retirement, we crave alone time. For decades, we've had to work with people who may or may not uplift us. And let's face it: Some of those people are really annoying.

For those who like to read peaceably and take solitary walks, retirement affords the time to do what we want on our own. Protecting our precious solitude gets easier when there are fewer intrusions (like a job) marring our days.

Read: The hot new hangout for retirees: senior centers

While solitude has its pleasures, loneliness is different. It's a huge risk factor for seniors who feel isolated, forgotten or rejected. It can lead to myriad health problems from depression to high blood pressure to heart disease.

Retirees need to socialize. But where does that leave otherwise healthy, well-adjusted individuals who simply prefer to be alone?

"People who enjoy being on their own find solitude relaxing and rejuvenating," says Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., author of "Single at Heart." "It's enhancing and enriching to them."

If you're worried that your love of solitude can shorten your lifespan, you might treat your social life like a gym workout. You force yourself to say yes to invitations and make the best of group outings even if they last too long and leave you underwhelmed.

Read: 'I want to die "young" as late as possible,' says 83-year-old triathlete doctor who reinvented himself after a midlife crisis

Some researchers challenge the conventional wisdom that more socializing is always better for you. DePaulo cites a study of nearly 400,000 people from 37 European nations that showed that people who socialized a few times a month had better health than those who socialized less often. But socializing more than that produced virtually no extra health benefits.

The takeaway: A little socializing goes a long way. Don't assume that every hour you spend contentedly alone endangers your well-being.

"There's all this scaremongering," DePaulo says. "You hear that being alone is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. There's so much wrong with that."

The key is differentiating between being truly lonely and deriving comfort and joy from solitude.

Do you have questions about retirement, Social Security, where to live or how to afford it at all? We want to hear from you. Join the conversation in our Facebook community: Retire Better with MarketWatch.

"It's one thing if you feel ostracized or overlooked and want to be around others more of the time," DePaulo says. "But if you love solitude and have all the time to yourself that you want and need, that's a superpower."

Retirees can curate their daily lives with more care and deliberation. Free from work-related obligations, they can set priorities and follow through as desired.

"With working, there's an aspect of forced socialization," says Tara Well, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Barnard College. "You may tire of the small talk that you had to do at work. Once you retire, you can be more selective about when you socialize and whom you spend time with."

As we age, we tend to get more introverted. That's all the more reason to spend at least some quality time with people we care about. It's gratifying to see your kids and grandkids. But if family members don't live nearby, seek out the young.

Read: The rise of the solo senior traveler: adventure, freedom and choice

"Socializing with younger people in ways you can enjoy can give you a sense of purpose," Well says. Examples include mentoring a student or coaching a youth sports team.

If you're a loner by nature, pets can fill a void, she adds. They offer companionship without the aimless chitchat that often accompanies human interaction.

"Pets have positive effects on health and longevity," Well says. "Pets can lower your anxiety and blood pressure. And eye-gazing with a pet can create oxytocin," a hormone tied to positive emotions.

Not a pet lover? Consider allotting time to see plays, attend a lecture or simply sit in parks. It's beneficial to share the same space with others.

"Just being present in tranquil public spaces where you can be alone and reflect and be part of the world around you" has its benefits, Well says.

If you find yourself becoming more introverted in retirement, that's normal. But beware of sudden changes in your preferences and proclivities.

"It depends on whether it's your natural inclination to be alone," says Dan Lobel, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Katonah, N.Y. "If you've always done well alone, it's not a problem to continue being that way in retirement. But if you were not always that way and now you feel bitter due to divorce or another life event where you feel betrayed or hurt, then you're more at risk of depression" or other mental or physical health issues.

-Morey Stettner

This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal.

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

05-13-24 1138ET

Copyright (c) 2024 Dow Jones & Company, Inc.