We are a community for expats and foreigners living in the great country of The Philippines. This is a space to come and get helpful tips, advice, and encouragement.
It seems with western women and more and more Filipinas consider it servitude to make their husband who is supporting them a sandwich yet it's empowering to work 8 hours a day for a boss.
Do they not realize that the housewife has more legal rights than the employee? If your boss isn't happy with your work he can fire your ass. If your husband isn't happy he has to stick it out. If the housewife decides to leave she gets half his stuff. If she quits her job her boss doesn't give her squat.
I wonder how many people have considered this?
Oh and yes women should have the choice to work outside the home or not. What bothers me how many women look down on those who chose to be a wife and a mother rather than an employee.
Sort by:
Best
Open comment sort options
Best
Top
New
Controversial
Old
Q&A
This is the Philippines. If the husband leaves you for another, there's no guarantee you'll get anything. We have no concept of alimony here. The legal system is shit. No divorce, only costly annulment, and even then, it's not as absolute as divorce.
This is the reason why you meet many single mothers who provide for their children on their own with the father nowhere to be seen. It's hard to go after the guy for child support. It's even rarer to find a guy fighting for custody or visitation rights.
Also, regarding labor laws, the Philippines has more progressive and protective regulations in place. A company cannot fire you without just cause. We have no right-to-work/at-will. We also get separation pay, healthcare, leaves, and other benefits (maternity/paternity leaves).
That may be the written law but we both know what happens in real life is quite different from most people
What an incel. Have you had a good relationship? Maybe it's you. Not them.
I don't know any woman who has a problem with showing their husbands affection with acts of servitude.
However, no one is going to enjoy doing it if you treat them like a slave. Maybe it's time to ask yourself some questions. Are you treating the women in your life like maids that need to answer to your every beck and call? If that's what you're doing, no wonder they resent you.
A bad boss can give you hell for 8 hours, every 5-6 days of the week. A bad husband gives you hell 24/7.
To be fair there are some women who have a problem doing stuff like this. But they usually just go home to their cats.
Lol true. I should have specified a married woman or woman in long-term relationship.
That's an arrangement that works for everyone. Win for her, win for hypothetical spouse who dodged a bullet, and most importantly, a win for the cats.
Had a partner, who never appreciated my “servitude”, thus I would say, how women act reflects the way you treat them. If it’s a healthy relationship, women can balance work and life. Been there, done that. But if it’s becoming toxic, women can let loose. That’s why I would say it’s still better to have a career, while being a wife and a mother, that if in case it becomes toxic you can pack your things and go. So treat your wives nicely, even a simple thank you after making your sandwich. A hug after a tiring work.
Baffles me how so many people seem to neglect their SPOUSE. When I'm in a relationship you bet my gf has to tell me to get off her because I hug her every time I walk next to her 💀
And if the marry is abusive (physycally, emotionally, financially, whatever) then she couldn't leave because she has no job to support herself, and leaving would put her and her children in a more vulnerable place since predators know how to spot vulnerable people and prey on them. So overall it just makes women more vulnerable to their abusive husband and more likely to end up getting killed, versus being independent and able to provide for themselves. I think that women are not the one who misunderstand how things work here buddy. They get it perfectly right.
You know I wonder how often that actually happens. There are abusive men and women but most people are not. Most husbands I know love their wives and would do anything for them. The same with most wives.
Yes, it is probably and hopefully true in today's word, but even today, keep in mind that a very huge portion of marriages is arranged (all over Middle East, India, still very prevalent in many rural parts of Asia), meaning than neither partners can chose who they will spend their life with, which obviously is a source of a lot of abuse. It goes both ways as you pointed out, saddly, historically speaking, women have always been at the receiving end of the stick. Exceptions are anecdotical. Also in a country such as the Philippines, not having the possibility to divorce plus all the social pressure from family, friends and unsollicited marites necessarly creates inbalances in power relations, and again, women are the most vulnerable here.
In America, a guy (Indian) who owns his own store went back to India for an arranged marriage. In this case they had two months to know each other. Year later they are happy. My understanding is that arranged marriages have a better success rate. (Could be for other reasons than they get along).
Yes they sometimes work, and arranged marriage is one of the founding stones on which most civilizations were built, both at the "peasant's" and at the "king's" levels . Westerns too, until very recently (think last century). I am not against it per se, they can make people happy. But I am also big on letting people have the freedom of choice in their life, bc that is the culture in which I grew up. It is not always exclusive, a lot of people ask to be in an arranged marriage, as shown in your exemple, but it is also because of their cultural upbringing. Ofc you will satisfied with the little you are given when you have no idea that the whole exist. Freedom of choice is relatively new, and absolutely not universal. So if you're in a society where you have to get married and start a family otherwise you don't exist as an individual, ofc people will chose the former rather than the later. In a society that goes hard on individualism, most people would chose the later (or at least I would).
Wtf ? Since when do you have to stick to a relationship you don’t like ? You can always split, divorce or annulment.
That’s people's problem if they didn’t make a prenup with complete separation of propriety
What y'all think/the views some people have in this sub is so exhausting.
Modernization is not westernization... Still Woman is a boss and husband is a servant in the philippines.
This whole sub has turned into turd about dating and relationships the last few days. Shouldn’t their be a sub for relationship advice for y’all instead?
Hes the mod so he gets away with posts like this. Last time it was about how Filipinos don't understand divorce and the consequences of going thru divorce lmao.
I’m sure a Filipino Expat relationship advice sub would do fine, and it sounds like he has more than enough advice to keep everyone reading for days
You make money when you’re employed.
Dude, is all you understood about marriage that one pays the bills while the other makes sandwiches?
How about loving each other, helping and supporting each other, and spending time together, etc.?
What would prompt a man to take time out of his day to seethe about this particular issue I wonder? Hmmmmm.
Work a unionized job so that the employer has to deal with grievances and a progressive disciplinary model before you actually get fired.
What are some examples of unionized jobs in the USA?
Auto manufacturers, warehousing, assembly workers, postal service and nearly every govt office worker
Ahh yes, the gov....no matter how bad you are they can't fire you. Burn those tax dollars. Sounds like a fit, thanks 🙏