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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Hardcover – October 12, 2004

by George Carlin (Author)

4.6 634 ratings

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On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations.

Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe!

Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics:

Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.
Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?
Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"?
Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm.

The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more.

In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

From Booklist

The latest book by longtime stand-up comic Carlin will undoubtedly join his previous "acts" in book form on the best-seller lists, so expect demand. Here are more of his irreverent, hilarious takes on contemporary social and political issues; as anyone who is familiar with his routines and books knows, Carlin doesn't let current notions of what is politically correct stand in the way of his taking a jab. So this series of short observations, one flung at the reader right after another, encompasses the Ten Commandments ("a padded list"), an anti-plastic surgery stance ("Ugliness should be a permanent condition"), body maintenance ("Every time you clip [a toenail], the little clipped part flies several feet away. You notice that?"), and euphemistic language (the first instance was being instructed to call his aunt's mole a "beauty mark"). The book is not meant to be read straight through but, rather, dipped into here and there. The language is explicit; therefore, this is not recommended for readers advocating propriety in speech on every occasion. Brad Hooper
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

About the Author

George Carlin, author of three bestsellers, released twenty-three comedy albums; appeared in sixteen feature films; wrote and performed fourteen HBO specials; received four Grammy Awards; and was nominated for five Emmys. He was the 2008 recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He died in 2008.

Print length

320 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Hachette Books
Publication date

October 12, 2004
Grade level

8 and up
Reading age

13 years and up
Dimensions

6 x 8 inches
ISBN-10

1401301347
ISBN-13

978-1401301347
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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hachette Books; First Edition (October 12, 2004)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1401301347
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1401301347
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 13 years and up
Grade level ‏ : ‎ 8 and up
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.03 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #129,091 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #264 in Literary Criticism & Theory
- #355 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #1,198 in Fiction Satire

Customer Reviews:
4.6 634 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

634 global ratings

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Carlin: always insightful; always funny

Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2023

Verified Purchase

The late George Carlin was an excellent comedian, and has a great reputation as a comedian and as a writer. Even by just reading the title of this book, you know it's going to be an enjoyable read!

Helpful

Lorrie A. Oyer

Book was in excellent condition

Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2023

Verified Purchase

I love George Carlin, so when I saw this deal on one of his books, I bought it. It arrived quickly, and in much better shape than I expected. Love the book.

Helpful

A Little Off Target

Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2004

Verified Purchase

I believe some of the reviewers of this book might be expecting too much. "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" is not Carlin's best book, but a lot of the material is offensive to some people and funny to most of us. That's what Carlin does, he offends people. My biggest complaint is that he did not offend enough people. I felt that too much of the book was devoted to euphemisms. The fact is that these arguments presented by Carlin are more logical than funny. By most standards, this is not a problem, unless the book is supposed to be funny.

I enjoyed a lot of the book. I enjoyed the one liners in the sections titled, "Bits and Pieces". Nobody has a better eye for observing the stupid things people do. Whether regular people or famous people, Carlin points out the problem in a humorous way. Usually it is a shocking or offensive result. That is why people like George Carlin. If you like Carlin, you will probably like the book. It is not his best book, but it is still better than most comedian's books.

192 people found this helpful

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Scott D Drumm

Super Book

Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2023

Verified Purchase

Glad to find, I laughed so hard the entire book, excited to gift to a new friend of mine who I know will laugh as hard as I did, the pure intelligence and whit, and brutal honesty of Carlin truly is carried on in this book,
thanks for having it, !

One person found this helpful

Helpful

C Knowles

Not for everyone, but might be for you

Reviewed in the United States on June 9, 2006

Verified Purchase

I feel like I need to start by saying that I read the entire book. Seems a lot of people think it's OK to write a review after reading the first 20 pages, flipping through it at a bookstore, or just reading the cover. There should be a rule.

I've read all of Carlin's books and have been a fan since "7 Words." This is not his funniest book, but it is still classic Carlin. He is angry, vulgar and sophomoric, that's what he does, and sometimes that's just what you need. He can be angry and complain so that I don't have to. For me, reading Carlin is like a sedative that's absorbed through the eyeballs.

Sometimes his observations and rantings are truely genius, sometimes what he has to say is about as deep as my 8-year-old. If you are easily offended by vulgarity, strong opinions that may differ from your own or the rantings of an irritated man, then this book isn't for you.

It appears, from reading other reviews, that some people who consider themselves Christians, were offended by this book. Carlin is not "...challenging Christian views and beliefs," as one reviewer said, he's simply making fun of you. That's what he does, that's what he's always done. To expect something else isn't realistic. If you are a Christian and understand that Freedom of Religion also means Freedom FROM Religion, then you will not be offended by this book.

And finally, it's been suggested that we should not buy this book because it is simply the "rantings of a drug addict." If you agree, then don't buy this book, and also get rid of all your Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, Poe, O'Henry, King, Sinclair Lewis, Jack London, Dylan Thomas and Stephen Crane as well. You wouldn't want to be a hypocrite, right? If you actually understand the nature of addiction then you'll know it doesn't matter in your selection of this book.

31 people found this helpful

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adversary

Good for fans of Carlin

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2023

Verified Purchase

If you know and enjoy Carlins humor then this book is a solid addition to have. AS you would expect with a book (and Carlin) it deal lot with language and euphemisms. An enjoyable read.

One person found this helpful

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The Tally Ho

Never, Because Jesus Is Dead.

Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2020

Verified Purchase

Let it be known, that George Carlin was one of my favourite comedians ever and one of the few standup comedians I ever liked, as I prefer improv comedy over standup comedy. With that said I would give George Carlin 5 stars when it came to his shows, but when it just does not come out the same in his books. This is one of the few times the show is better than the book, thus the reason for only 3 stars. Anyway, I hope this helps you and I would recommend buying or watching one of his shows instead.

2 people found this helpful

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Michael

Better to get through Audible so Carlin can narrate

Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2020

Verified Purchase

If you like Carlin, you will love this. To prepare for his HBO specials, Carlin kept details notes throughout the years of his random ideas, then he would repeatedly, re-read, condense, expand, reorganize, stew over, circle back, reaffirm, repurpose, add, subtract, and distill those notes into what would become his best material, fit for his standup routines.

Here, you get a combination of verbatim routines (it opens with the seminal "Modern Man"), ideas that would be built upon later for his final performance in "It's Bad For Ya", and tangents which give you a glimpse into his wild mind which wouldn't work for a 1 hour HBO special, but are perfect for a stream-of-consciousness dive into his dark, perverse, and brilliant mind.

Highly recommend getting both the audio recording where George narrates himself AND the print edition so you can go back and examine the best ideas and topics he was likely building up for his planned Broadway show his death a few years later halted from being realized.

6 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

serhat tepe

Quality

Reviewed in Canada on April 10, 2019

Verified Purchase

Very interesting story

Evaniah

Not an Original Copy

Reviewed in India on August 15, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book seems to be one from the road side stalls. It was I'm poor condition like someone had read it before and it did not have the new book smell. The content is there but the quality of the paper is bad. Overall not worth 1000 including delivery charges. If you are looking for an original copy, this is not where you should get it from.

One person found this helpful

Savage Wolf

LOVE IT !

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 7, 2019

Verified Purchase

Arrived on time and with only a few marks in it but as it was sold as, "used & in good condition"...no complaints. Was a great price! I had been looking for this for like ever and now I finally have it. Completes my collection of works by George and could not be happier. Arrived in time and not over packaged. If you love, George Carlin, as much as I do then it is a must have and definitely would reccomend. REMEMBER... used condition, means, used conditon so try to be happy with what you get. I LOVE IT and will use this company again for others. THANKS FOR GREAT SERVICE!

One person found this helpful

JF

You gotta love it.

Reviewed in France on May 29, 2012

Verified Purchase

The late George carlin raves about everything and more. Hilarious, wise and witty, a definite must read in my opinion. If you are offended by explicit language you may want to pass but that would be your loss.

Kindle CustomerT. Muller

Review

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 13, 2020

Verified Purchase

Good to read, but it's better to hear him reading it as his delivery is excellent. He makes great observations which are funny especially in the use of words - and especially the use of words by politicians; in the UK, political leaders often begin their answers with 'so' or 'look' - George Carlin would have certainly noted that when these words were used, you were being spoken down to - a good read, an intelligent funny man.

One person found this helpful

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